Tales of Interest
by longhairedjuice
Summary: What happens when an invention is introduced in Konoha that appeared in Futurama? Well, just read it. NrauHina SasuSaku ShikaIno and NejiTen. T for safety. OOC in the substories. RANDOMNESS MAY HURT OR CORRUPT YOUR BRAIN! WINNER WILL GET TO WRITE FINAL CH
1. Intro

LHJ: Well this my first fanfic and I'm just bored so I just decided to make this. I was thinking of making a fanfic about Naruto that was obviously different than the other stories. I remembered about futurama and one thing led to another and decided to make that what if machine into here. Well, here goes nothing.

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto in any way, cause that would be scary as hell.

(author's notes)

"speech"

there will be more, but this is just a prolouge.

** 0101010101  
**

Tales of Interest! Naruto Version

** 0101010101**

It was just another ordinary day in Konoha with a clear sky and happy villagers. We find our ramen loving hero leaving Ichiraku ramen with a smile. He decided to take a walk around town since he had nothing to do. Today was his day off of any missions and he decided to not train and take it easy. It was strange that Naruto didn't want to train, but who gives a damn? He was happy getting Sasuke back after 4 years and seeing Sakura happy. Orochimaru's dead, Itachi became preacher, and the Akastuki became the Happy Pony Lovers club (Strange huh?).

Meanwhile, in a small lab not to far from where Naruto is, a scientist by the name of prof. Nagoya just completed a machine that can answer what if questions with a mini-movie. After doing some celebrating and dancing to no music like an idiot, he decided to go tell Tsunade about his latest work. So far, his inventions were the weapon holsters, speed shoes, and a special sake maker for Tsunade. Once he told the Hokage about it, she decided to have the whole village meet in a spot and present it.

"This is the greatest invention yet!" said Nagoya to himself.

"well make sure it doesn't make the village upset" replied Tsunade, who seemed to have a happy tone.

"Don't worry, it won't"

I 1 hour later I

Naruto was still taking a very long walk around Konoha, when he suddenly found practically the whole village gathered around a stage (took him a while to notice) Nagoya and some sort of television screen made of gold. With his curiosity rising, he walked over to the crowd to see whats going on. Along with the crowd, he saw his former teammates (he's a Jounin), Ino, Shikamaru, Shino, Hinata, Neji, Tenten, and Lee, Kiba, and Chouji. The thing is, Sakura and Sasuke became a couple, Ino and Shikamaru were one too, and Tenten managed to get the hard-to-get Neji. He walked next to Shikamaru and Hinata.

"Hi N-N-Naruto-kun" said the shy blushing Hinata. (No Hinata hasn't asked Naruto yet and Naruto hasn't realized) "Genki?"

"Oh, hey Hinata! I'm feelin good today! How 'bout you?" replied Naruto with his trademark grin

"F-f-fine. Thank you" said the shy Hyuuga, who was blushing even more.

"Good! Hey, what's going on here? I've never seen this many people in one place before" asked Naruto

"I don't know, but something about an invention," replied Shinkamaru who was holding hands with Ino.

As if on cue, Nagoya walked up to the microphone that was next to the screen. Nagoya said "Hi. Most of you are probably wondering why there's a stage here and I'm next to this screen. Well I'm going to introduce my newest invention, the 'what if' machine" People started clapping and the scientist continued. "What you do is ask the machine a what if question. Then the machine predicts what might happen and displays it on the screen. The predictions are 97 correct and I asked a question, which came true!"

'Maybe I can ask what might happen if I tell what I feel about Naruto' thought the shy Hinata

'Maybe I can ask what might happen if Sasuke said yes to me earlier' thought the pink-haired Sakura

'Maybe I can ask what might happen if I didn't have these sunglasses' thought the emotionless Shino.

"Maybe I can ask what might happen if Saske-teme didn't come back" said the loud Naruto.

"Maybe I can ask what might happen if I punched you in the face right right now." Said the annoyed Uchiha

"Shut up Saske-teme!"

"Hn"

After having the crowd quiet down, Nagoya continued his speech " well, I will let A few people test it today, just for studying reasons. I will let this go public tomorrow. Right now, I will pick a group of people to come with me to the lab" Nagoya looked around and decided to have the Naruto group test it. He walked up to them and ask them to test it out for him.

"Seriously! Yeah!" Naruto said excidedly.

"Well, follow me to the lab. The twelve of you should be enough" said Nagoya.

The Scientist led the kids to his lab while pushing his invention back to the lab. Everyone was excited and curious in asking the machine their questions about themselves. Soon their dreams maybe answered, their love life might be stronger, or their life might become worse.

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Well, this was the introduction to the story. Remember, this is my first fanfic, so tell me how it is. I will make my own questions, so don't bother asking. I may have writers block little bt easily, so updates may not come as fast. So please! R&R


	2. Sasuke and Itachi?

A/N: Damn, it's 1:00 A.M, but it's the only time I have to write and update. I'd like to thank Saotome Kyuubi for the **only **review of the intro. Just like before. I'm just a lazy bored writer who has nothing to do except read other fanfics and say "OMG that was good" or "meh". Anyways, I also decided to have a few characters OOC starting from here in the what-if stories. Well enjoy!

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Naruto because of society. Yes, you heard me. Society. IT WILL BE THE DEMISE OF THE WORLD PEOPLE!

Eh, you guys can figure out the author's notes and quotes part for yourselves.

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Once the group reached the lab of Nagoya, the scientist told them to sit around the golden screen, which is the 'what-if machine'. The lab was pretty small, since he was the only scientist, so the kids had to get close to each other (the couples didn't mind) and get comfy. Nagoya waited till he thought it was the right time.

"Okay. All of are privileged of being the testers of the what-if machine. You guys are sooooo special," said Nagoya with a girlish voice in soooooo. (Yeah, a fully-grown man saying soooooo. You heard me right!)

Everyone clapped once he finished. Then, Naruto, being the #1 hyperactive ninja of Konoha, He suddenly said "dattebayo", which was earned by a punch from Sakura, causing the whole group to laugh and having a smirk form Neji and Sasuke.

"So, does anyone have a question for the machine?" said Nagoya. (I got too lazy am now calling it machine.)

Everyone started thinking of what to saying. Even Naruto was thinking, which was getting somewhat easier for him. (Amazing huh? Never saw that coming huh?) Nagoya waited a while for someone to ask something. After three minutes of incredible thinking, Sasuke decided to ask. (Actually, he wanted to go last, but got bored.)

"I'll go first since no one else will," said the Uchiha. "What would've happened if Itachi never killed my family?"

"Finally, a question," started Nagoya. "What if Itachi never killed the Uchiha clan?"

The screen started flashing and making noises. The flashes cause some man trying to have a sneak peek of the machine outside the lab to have a violent seizure and twitch. Then, it all stopped and showed the Uchiha manor.

----------On Screen -----------

We can see two raven haired kids training in the middle of a field in Konoha. It is a peaceful day and nothing can go wrong. We can see fifteen year-old Itachi and six year-old Sasuke practicing their Jutsus. (Ok, I don't know the age difference. So shut up!) Itachi has his sharingan on and Sasuke is trying to activate his while dodging fireballs.

"This is hard!" said Sasuke

"Come on! It's not that hard" said the older Uchiha

"Easy for you to say!"

After a while of intense training, they decided to take a quick break.

"Hey Sasuke" said the OOC Itachi. (Well, duh)

"Yeah?" replied Sasuke.

"Tomorrow, I'm gonna be going on a mission that will take at least a week. I'm gonna be going to another village to deliver an important scroll for a feudal lord. It's going to be a B-ranked mission, so there's gonna be a lot of enemies." Itachi's words made Sasuke think a little about what might happen to his brother. "Don't worry though. I'll be fine. It's going to be my mission as a Chunin. It's also my first B-ranked mission. I just wanted to tell you because I'm excited" Itachi smiled. This also made Sasuke smile. (Fan girls: aaawwwww how cute! Me: Oo)

"Brother? When do you think I'll be a ninja like you?" said Sasuke. (Major OOC. It kind of freaked me out)

"You'll never be _that_ good" said Itachi with a smirk.

"Hey!" yelled Sasuke

Then they started training again, but with more fun. Then, they decided to go home to their manor. The family had a special dinner for Itachi's weeklong mission. Sasuke and Itachi were having a lot of fun together. Yeah they were having fun and it seemed that nothing would tear the happiness apart.

Story goes to a week later 

Sasuke was in his room thinking about his brother's return and mission success. He waited for a while, which seemed like an eternity, until Itachi's sensei came into view. He also saw the Hokage (the third one people). Sasuke told his parents that they were approaching. The parents, though, had a worried look on their face, since they knew what this meant. Sasuke however, didn't. The sensei and the Hokage followed the Uchihas to their living room to tell the family what happened.

"Well, I have bad news for you guys," said the sad looking sensei. Sasuke's parents knew what happened. Sasuke, however, wanted to know why Itachi wasn't with them. "I'm sorry to say this, but Itachi was killed in the mission." Sasuke's mom started crying while his dad was holding her. Sasuke was just shocked. "Apparently, he was killed by a traitor named Orochimaru."

Then the Hokage came into the conversation. "Of course you know that Orochimaru is trying to get revenge on the village because of what happened years ago," Everyone nodded except Sasuke, who just remained silent. "Looks like he wants to get rid of some of the defenses, like the Uchihas."

Sasuke them slammed his fist onto the table. "It's not true! He can't be dead! Not my brother!" Sasuke was crying now. "My brother is too strong for that to happen! He can't get killed!"

Sasuke's dad was trying to calm him down. Sasuke, instead, ran to his room and locked it.

"I had a feeling he wasn't going to take it that well," said the third Hokage.

"Well, they are close," said the father while holding onto the mother who was still crying hysterically.

"I'll be taking my leave now" said Hokage. He then left the manor along with Itachi's sensei. The Uchihas were left crying about the loss of their son and brother.

Meanwhile 

Sasuke was also crying about Itachi. He just couldn't accept it. His brother was strong. That couldn't of happened. It just couldn't. After a while, he decided to accept his death.

"Itachi, I swear. I will avenge your death! I will kill that goddamn Orochimaru! I will send him to burn in hell!" With that, His sharingan activated, unknowingly of course.

The years passed by and his personality changed into what we know now. We now see him at the Academy with the introductions of team 7. (You know, the one when they were on the rook and saying stuff about themselves?)

"Okay, how about you Sasuke?" said Kakashi.

(I just skipped it to his dreams) "… and my dream is to avenge my brother Itachi"

'hmmmmm. I heard about Itachi's death and how it impacted the younger son of the Uchihas' thought Kakashi. "Well, you're all dismissed. Meet me tomorrow early at 6:00 and don't eat anything before. We're going to have a survival training"

Once Kakashi left, Sakura walked up to Sasuke to ask him out, of course. "Ne. Sasuke? Want to hangout or something?"

"Hmmm. Sure, if my parents says it's okay." (Didn't expect that huh?)

"Really?" Sakura said with sparkles in her eyes while Naruto stood there shocked.

"Why would you want to go out with that teme?" said Naruto.

"Shut up dobe," said Sasuke while Naruto walked away sad. Sasuke and Sakura walked away hand in hand. (Yeah you read that right. Sasuke somehow gave her a chance)

Skipping to the Chunin exams in the Forest of Death 

We now see Team 7 encountering the snake woman (You all know it's Orochimaru right?). See also notices the Uchiha.

"Hmmm. So you must be the brother of Itachi," said Orochmaru.

"What? Are you the person named Orochimaru?" yelled Sasuke.

"heh heh heh heh heh. You also look promising for my collection, along with your brother," said Orochimaru.

"What are you talking about you bitch?" yelled Sasuke.

"You see your brother wasn't killed. Instead, he was brain washed and I made it looked like he was killed. The one that was buried was a replica of him that wouldn't disappear with a touch. He will stay until I want him to disappear," said Orochimaru. Then he cackled which made Sasuke angrier. "I bet you would like to see him now, hmm?"

Then, a shadow appeared next to Orochimaru. The figure walked up and revealed itself, to be Itachi.

"How do I know you're not lying and instead is showing me a copy?" yelled Sasuke.

"I promise you, this is the actual Itachi. Itachi would you like to explain?" said Orochimaru, who was facing Itachi with a smirk.

"I would," Itachi said while taking more steps. "Little brother, when I was returning from delivering the scroll, I ran into him. The thing is, everyone else was sleeping, so I was by myself," Itachi stopped for a while and looked at Orochimaru. "This man promised me that he would give me a lot of power. So I joined him. He also gave me a mark that gave me more power. Then, we played a trick into thinking my team members that he killed me. Once that was over, both of us trained and worked hard," Itachi paused and looked back at Sasuke. "Little brother, would you like to join us? You can gain power and rule the world?"

"Never!" Sasuke activated his sharingan, but before could move; Orochimaru snuck up behind him and placed the curse mark on him. (How the hell did he get there? I don't even know!)

"Too bad!" they both said as the curse mark appeared onto his neck.

Then, the screen goes out into a static thing and returned to it's old before the prediction was started.

----------End tale----------

The group continues staring at the screen and boos since it got cut off. Nagoya has a confused look on his face, since he didn't know what happened.

"I'm sorry, I guess the machine couldn't continue its prediction" said Nagoya.

"It's okay," said Sasuke, who apparently was satisfied of what would've happened.

"Sasuke…" said Sakura sadly. She then hugged Sasuke who also hugged her.

"Wow. That…. was….. interesting." Said Neji, who was apparently impressed.

"Eehh so what? He still gets the curse mark! It's almost the same thing as what happens here! Dattebayo!" yelled Naruto. (OMG! He's practically right. But it seemed somewhat obvious)

"Well, who's next the next person to ask a question for the 'what-if machine'?" (Dun dun dun!)

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Well, this chapter was more of action/adventure instead of a humor or Romance. This was more like an oneshot inside a story. It also turned out to take a longer time than I expected. It's 3:30 and I'm tired. So R&R!


	3. The Hyuugas' turn

LHJ: zzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Naruto: (slams down door) WAKE UP!

LHJ: DAMIT NARUTO! (Throws pillow which was full of bricks)

Naruto: OOOWWW! What was that for? And how do you sleep with bricks as pillows?

LHJ: For waking me up and destroying my door and I'm a man and bricks are good for my head.

Naruto: really?

LHJ: I dunno.

Naruto: well anyways, you're supposed to be typing a story.

LHJ: Yeah, look below.

Naruto: (does said thing) oh. Well I'm off to Ichiraku's!

LHJ: wait. You owe me money.

Naruto: What! Why!

LHJ: (points to door)

Naruto: oh. Damn. (Gives LHJ money)

Disclaimer Man: Longhairedjuice does not own Naruto, but now he owns some of Naruto's money.

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Recap: _So, who's next person to ask the what-if machine?_

At the Sand Village, we find the Gaara trio walking in the middle of a road. We don't know where the hell they're going, but who really cares?

"Damn it's hot today," said Kankuro.

"No shit, Sherlock," said Gaara. (oooh I'm cursing)

"Come on, let's get Kankuro's make up and go home," said Temari.

Gaara replied with an "hn" and Kankuro just said nothing.

Meanwhile back at the lab of Nagoya, the kids are just laying around thinking of a good question. Yeah, it was boring there.

"Hey Hinata," whispered Ino and Sakura at the same time. (everyone else was talking to each other loudly)

"Yes?" Hinata replied

"Why don't you ask something about you and Naruto?" said Ino.

"W-w-what? Why?" Hinata was now blushing.

"Come one! Everyone besides him knows! Just ask!" said Sakura

"Y-y-yeah so?"

"Ah, whatever. We'll do it for you!" said Ino and Sakura with a wink. (yeah, they're friends again)

"N-no don't!" said Hinata. (poor her)

"Hey Nagoya!" said Sakura.

"Yes?" replied the scientist.

"What if Hinata told Naruto how she felt about him" Yelled Ino. This caught Naruto's attention. 'W_hat does Ino mean?' _thought Naruto. Sasuke thought Hinata's head was a tomato. (as in she was blushing that badly)

"Well, you heard what she said what-if machine" said Nagoya. "Show us your answer!" The machine started flashing and making noises. A man was outside on fire running around. Konohamaru was running after him with a water gun trying to squirt him. Apparently, no one cared.

----------Start sub-story-----------

Hinata was walking toward Naruto's favorite place, hoping to find him there. '_I'm going to tell him today'_ thought Hinata. She has the same body as she did when she was 15. She has the same look as she does in the manga now. She finally reached the stand, but before she went inside, she took a deep breath and went in.

"Welcome!" said the old man. She saw Naruto right in front of her and sat next to him. He just finished his second bowl.

"Hi Hinata!" said Naruto happily.

"Hi N-N-Naruto-kun. A-ano…" she was interrupted by Naruto.

"Hinata. Um… I don't really know how to say this, but… do you want to go out with me?" said Naruto. Hinata was frozen and had wide eyes. She was gonna do the thing Naruto just did. "Well? What's your answer?" asked Naruto.

"Y-y-yes! I would Naruto-kun!" said Hinata. She then ordered a miso ramen and happily ate with Naruto.

Once the couple finished, they decided to go to take a walk. They talked about their lives and what Naruto did for the three years he was gone. She also told what happened over the three years, which was nothing but the fact that Tsunade's face was on the mountain and the group became a Chunin.

"Man. This sucks. I'm still a Genin when everyone else is higher than me. I feel left out," said Naruto.

"Don't worry Naruto, You'll be with us soon. Maybe you can ask Tsunade-sama if you can ask to be a Chunin ahead of time."

"Hmmm," Naruto thought for a while. "You're right! Tsunade-obachan is nice to me! Maybe she will! Thank you!" Naruto then hugged Hinata, which caused her to blush wildly.

Then the two decided to go to Konoha's funland, filled with mini-golf, arcade, and batting cages. (I obviously made that up) They went on a round of golf and Hinata won by one point. Then, they went two rounds of the batting cages with Naruto helping Hinata, but a ball hit Hinata in the arm, but it wasn't noticeable. Lastly, they played DDR, a racing game, and street fighter. (kinda weird to see that in a ninja village)Then they both went on top of the Hokage Mountain and watched the sunset.

"Wow, the view is beautiful Naruto-kun," said Hinata. They were holding each other in their arms.

"Yeah. I sometimes watch it by myself to think," said Naruto. He then thought for a while. "Uhh Hinata? Won't your family be worried?"

"No. I always get back around dinner, which is in about twenty minutes. I always go around town either training, hanging out, or doing other stuff."

"Oh," said Naruto.

"Naruto-kun?"

"Yes?"

"I always admired you for who you are, not because of the nine-tailed fox. I never knew why the other people were mean to you, until I figured it out not to long ago. That just made me think that you were even braver than I thought. You never give up and always keep your word. You were also my confidence. You were always my sunshine on a cloudy day. (got that from the song my girl by the temptations)For that, I always loved you." Said Hinata. (all that with no stuttering. Amazing)

"Hinata," Naruto was practically speechless. No one really felt that way toward him. It kinda shocked him, but not more than halfway. "Thank you, and I love you too."

They both hug each other in front of the sunset. Then, they both looked into each other eyes and kissed each other, sealing their love for each other for eternity.

-------------End sub-story------------

"aaawww" said the kunoichis except the Hyuuga, who was blushing so hard her head was steaming.

"oooohhh" said most of the males. Neji and Sasuke weren't affected, since they weren't like that.

Naruto's eyes were really wide at this time. He didn't blink and just sat there, not moving. (It's a miracle!) Then he started talking to Hinata.

"Hinata, do you feel that way toward me?" asked Naruto.

"Y-y-yes," she said while nodding.

They both sat there silently. You could only hear their breathing. Then Neji decided to ask a question for the Machine.

"What if I tried to take over the Hyuuga family."

"Well, let's watch, shall we?" said Nagoya.

The screen made its usual flashes and noises while two birds hit the window and slid down. Then and egg was thrown at the window. Then the flashes and noises stopped.

-------------Start Sub-story-----------

Neji is standing in the middle of a clearing with a couple of unconscious Hyuugas, including Hiashi, surrounding him. He was bleeding a little and had a couple of bruises. Just then, he goes down and a gun-wielding Hanabi is behind him. Apparently, Hinata had seen this.

"Hanabi! Did you just shoot him?"

"No, just tranquilized him. See?" she pointed to the dart.

"Oh" just then, Hiashi woke up. He walked toward.

"Hmm did Neji hurt you two?" asked Hiashi.

"No father," replied Hinata.

"Good, it's a good thing Hanabi came in with the tranquilizer," said Hiashi.

"Why didn't you use the curse mark Otousan?" asked Hanabi.

"I wanted to test his strength. So, I just stood there taking the blows to see how strong he was," said Hiashi.

"I see," the two girls said.

"Well, lets take him to the hospital and get some ice cream! Shall we?"

"Yay!" the girls yelled. They then skipped toward Konoha Hospital with an unconscious Neji being dragged.

-----------------End Sub-story------------------

"Hn," said Neji. "The thing is would. I would've succeded"

"Oh come on Neji-kun," started TenTen. "The curse mark would've come in sometime"

"Hn," was all Neji said.

Meanwhile, Naruto and Hinata was just sitting there, in the same position, except Hinata was stealing some glances at Naruto to see how he was doing.

"ooohhh boy, this is gonna take a while." Said Nagoya.

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LHJ: Yeah. That's all for this chapter.

Hinata: Thanks for having Naruto and I together.

LHJ: No problem!

Naruto: hey Hinata! Want to do something?

Hinata: sure!

LHJ: Just don't go on my bed!

Naruto and Hinata: OO

Neji: You made me look like an idiot.

LHJ: Yeah so?

Neji: Nothing. I was just saying.

LHJ: oh.

The talking monkey: Remember people! R&R!

LHJ: Yeah! Do what the monkey says! Come on, lets go to the monkey bar!

Monkey: Yayayayayayyayayayayayayayaya!


	4. Chouji the Pig and Akamaru the Monkey

LHJ: so I haven't updated in a while, but you should blame the heat. It's been so hot in LA, I was way to tired to write. Now it's the daytime and it's really cool in my house. Also, I'm in the mood of writing.

Kiba: Hey, when am I gonna be in the fic?

LHJ: Soon, as in this chapter.

Kiba: Sweet!

Akamaru: Bark!

Ino: what about me?

LHJ: whenever I feel like it.

Ino: and when is that?

LHJ: SHUT UP OR ELSE YOU WON'T EVEN BE IN THIS FIC!

Ino: meep!

Some Pimp: Anyways, Longhairedjuice does not own Naruto, but I do own some girls that some of the readers might like(looks at Ino) hey girl, wanna make some money?

Ino: Eeeewww! I'm not gonna be some prostitute!

Pimp: Damn.

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In the lab, you can here a sound of a flush coming from a door, which seems to be the bathroom door. Nagoya comes out and fixes his tie and goes back to the machine. Sakura noticed that he didn't wash his hands.

"Eeeeeewwwww!"

"What?" said Nagoya.

"You didn't wash your hands!" shouted Tenten.

"So?" replied Nagoya.

"Wash it!" shouted Ino.

"Okay, sheesh," he then goes to a sink nearby and washes his hands. Then, he comes back to the same spot mentioned a few lines ago. He then cleared his throat, "So, who's next?"

"I have one," said Chouji.

"Okay, ask," said Nagoya.

"What if I got to eat every type of food in the world?" asked Chouji.

'That was sooo expected,' thought everyone except Naruto, who was still shocked and didn't hear his question, and Hinata, who was still deep in thought about Naruto and what his reaction might be once he's out of his shock.

"Well, what-if machine, tell us your answer!" said Nagoya. The machine then did all the noises and flashes it always does. Then, a cow outside was carrying a monkey on it's back and was dragging a World War II plane somewhere. The machine stopped and started playing images.

---------------- Start sub-story ----------------

A table is sitting in the middle of some random mansion in some unknown country. You can see many different types of food in a different plate throughout the table. (I bet that isn't even half of it.) Then more chefs come in a put more food onto the table and took away some empty plates. Yeah that was the life for him.

"Let's see, what type of food is this?" said Chouji to himself. It was spaghetti with meatballs and some Parmesan. "Mmm, sounds good"

Yup, there were foods from all over the world. From curry rice from Japan (which is mainly their land) to liver and onions from the U.S. From French toast from France to Tacos from Mexico. Every type of food was being made in the busy kitchen of Chouji's. It also seemed that the foods wouldn't stop coming and Chouji wouldn't stop eating.

"Head Chef! Would you also make the desserts along with the main course?" asked Chouji.

"No problem!" said the Head Chef. Just then, the doorbell rang. The butler answered the door and his teammates all came to the kitchen.

"Hey Chouji…. Whoa, look at the spread!" said Shikamaru.

"Can we have some Chouji? We haven't had lunch yet!" asked the female one.

"NO! IT'S ALL MINE! MINE I TELL YA! MINE! MWA HAHAHAHA!" shouted the now crazy Chouji. (yeah, the food is making him crazy.)

"Oookay, we're leaving now," The two sane people quickly left and ran as fast as they can away from the mansion.

" he he. I always get what I want!" said Chouji and started eating again. He then started choking on some chicken and quickly suffocated to his death. The chefs then noticed this and celetbrated.

"We're free!" said one chef.

"No more cooking for this fatass!" yelled another one.

"Let's eat to celebrate!" yelled the head chef. They all started eating their food that they created and buried Chouji's body in his backyard. Then, everyone went back to live with their families. As for the teammates, they didn't really care what happened.

------------- End sub-story -----------

Everyone seemed to not be affected in anyway of the outcomes. As for Chouji, he just got hungry and started eating his chips. So yeah, everyone knew what was going to happen in the first place. Meanwhile, Hinata was trying to get Naruto's attention from his shock from the previous chapter. (I don't think a shock can last that long.)

"So who's next?" asked Nagoya.

Kiba raised his hand.

"Yes?" asked Nagoya

"What if Akamaru is a monkey?" Kiba asked. Now, since Akamaru was too big to be in the lab, he wasn't there, but some people in the lab could've sworn they heard Akamaru bark when he asked that.

"Okay, well let's see," said Nagoya. It's the same routine like last time except it's a chicken on the cow and the cow poops. Once they all stop, the screen displays stuff.

------------------------Start sub-story-------------------

Kiba is training with his teammates, Hinata and Shino. They were all hiding from each other and were trying to get each other. Hinata silently activated her byakugan, Shino sent out a bug to find the others, and Kiba sent Akamaru to attack another without problem. Kiba decided to get Shino first since he didn't have a 360-degree sight like Hinata. Akamaru silently came up to Shino and did kiba's spinning jutsu (damn, I forgot what it was called.) and attacked him, but Shino did a substitution jutsu with his bugs and managed to trap Akamaru. Akamaru did some hand signs (OO a monkey can do those?) and became a giant monkey, which mad Shino let go of him and ran off. He also went back to his regular size, which is the size of a chimp. (just think of it as a normal sized monkey and not a gorilla.) Just then, a beeping noise was heard.

"Looks like time's up" said Kiba who came out of his hiding place. "Well, I gotta go. My sis needs some help today and I promised her I would."

"See ya," said Shino.

"Bye Kiba-kun," said Hinata. She then noticed that Akamaru isn't hanging onto his neck. "Kiba-kun. Where's Akamaru?"

"Wha-? Oh, I didn't notice. I thought he was walking next to me," Just then, he noticed that Akamaru found a soldier pill and was about to eat it. "No! Akamaru don't!" it was too late though. He ate. Then, he had a crazed look in its eyes and starting making monkey yells. Then he ran back to the village and went on a rampage. "This isn't good. The last time this happened, many stores were damaged and one person got seriously hurt," said Kiba.

"I'll help you Kiba," said Shino.

"Me too," said Hinata.

"Thanks guys," With that, they all ran off back to Konoha.

Once the three made it back to the village, Akamaru already made a mess. Windows were broken, stands were upside down, and people were covered with something that looked like mud, but smelled worse.

"We gotta hurry. This time, let's use the tranquilizing senbon," said Kiba.

"Right," said the other two. Then, they all ran off to find a rampaging monkey. They thought it shouldn't be too hard. After about 20 minutes, they all found each other, but they were empty handed.

"Well, did you guys find him?" asked Kiba.

"No," said Shino.

"I'm sorry Kiba-kun. I couldn't find him," said Hinata.

"Damn. I can't believe it's that hard to find a monkey." Said Kiba. Just then they heard a scream and a monkey yell. "It's Akamaru!" yelled Kiba.

They found the monkey and managed to corner him to a wall. Kiba was about to throw his senbon at him, but Akamaru threw a "present" at him, which covered most of Kiba's face. Unfortunately, the smell was so strong it knocked out Kiba. Then Shino and Hinata gasped in surprise as the monkey was about to escape, but Shino threw a senbon at him and knocked the monkey out too.

"What do we do now?" asked Shino. Hinata just shrugged. Just then Naruto came by.

"Hey Hinata, wanna g- WHOA! What's that smell?" asked Naruto while holding his nose. Shino and Hinata pointed at Kiba and Naruto started laughing.

"Ahahhahahahahahaahahaha. Kiba's covered in monkey shit!" Naruto laughing while the other two just stood there. Once Naruto regained his composure, Naruto began to ask Hinata something again. "Hinata, want to go out on a date?"

"Sure!" She then held Naruto's hand and they both walked to a restaurant. Shino just stood there.

'What should I do with Kiba?' he thought. Then he decided to a strip club and watch the girls dance.

------------------- End sub-story --------------------

"Hahahahahaha. Kiba was covered in shit!" said Naruto, who was out of his shock.

"Shut up Naruto!" Yelled Kiba. He also just realized that he was annoying again.

Then Hinata tapped Naruto's shoulder. "Naruto-kun. Can I talk to you about the what-if thing?" she blushed when she finished.

"Oh, uh, sure," said Naruto who was also blushing.

Hinata was looking at Naruto face and was blushing even harder. "Well, I was wondering if you do feel that way about me. And about the stuff I was saying in the what-if machine is all true,"

"Well, I uh…" He was then cut off by Hinata continuing.

"I would understand if you didn't like me that way. I just…" Naruto cut her off also by putting his finger onto her lips.

"Don't worry. You won't have to worry about that," said Naruto in a seductive voice. He then brought her closer to himself for a kiss. She was surprised with that and blushed harder than ever. Their faces were so close, Naruto can feel the heat from her blush. Then their lips were getting closer and closer, only a piece of paper can go through, when suddenly…

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Naruto: Why a cliffhanger?

LHJ: You know nothing about stories do you?

Hinata: Naruto, it's okay! We're gonna kiss anyways!

LHJ: Are you?

Hinata: uuhhhh (pokes her index fingers together)

Naruto: Hey!

LHJ: well anyways, don't forget to R&R! And don't forget to watch Futurama people!


	5. The Tour of the Lab

LHJ: All right. This chapter is mainly just random stuff and other things. Yes, there're no what-if stories, but I just wanted to do this because of one (possibly two) reasons below after this paragraph. You also may have noticed that my updates seem to be getting longer. This is because I have been getting ready for friends from Japan coming over and my dad is moving to a different room, so I had to help him. Also, because of my friends, I might not be able to update for a weak. I might be lucky and have some time to myself, but try not to count on it.

And now, the reasons I will put these chapters.

**#1: Writers block.** Yup. I'm out of ideas my brains stuck and I can't figure out what to put for the remaining characters. I told you I get writers block easily. This one will be a common reason.

**#2: I'm may be high. **Whether it be crack (which I don't do ) or candy, I might be high and be crazy. _WARNING: _none.

**#3: I feel like it.** No explanation needed.

**#4: President Bush.** Yup, he's another main reason for these chapters. Why you ask? It's because he sucks as a president and is better off leading an ant farm than a country.

For this chapter, it's reason 1 and 4 with a hint of 3.

Naruto: (walks up to LHJ) GIVE ME MY RAMEN

LHJ: Ugh, DISCLAIMER MAN!

Disclaimer Man: LHJ or Longhairedjuice does not own Naruto or anything of its characters. If he did, Hell would break loose.

LHJ: Damn straight.

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_Last Time, on this story I call Tales of Interest, we find Naruto and Hinata about to kiss, when suddenly…_

Their lips met. (You were all expecting something going to happen huh? Well it will!) They kissed for a full five seconds when Neji came out of nowhere and beat the living hell out of Naruto.

"YOU SON OF A BITCH! DON'T KISS THE HYUUGA HEIR LIKE THAT!"

Now I probably didn't tell you that Neji and Hinata were on good sides with each other. Because of this, Neji becomes a lot more protective towards Hinata.

"Neji-niisan! Please! Stop!" said Hinata. Neji didn't reply or stop. Hinata then kicked Neji out of the way. "I TOLD YOU TO STOP GOD-DAMMIT!" everyone then stared at the Hyuuga heiress, who apparently was about to lose it.

'PMS' thought all the kunoichis here.

"NOOOO NARUTO-KUN!" she then cried on Naruto's chest. "NEJI! YOU KILLED HIM!" she then continued sobbing.

"I-I-I was just protecting you," replied Neji

"NO YOU DIDN'T! YOU WANTED TO KILL HIM EVER SINCE HE BEAT YOU IN THE CHUUNIN EXAMS!"

"Uh, how'd you know?"

"I HEARD YOU IN YOUR ROOM!" she then continued bawling her eyes out.

Then a beeping noise is heard.

"Uh-oh, looks like the machine needs to cool off. It's on the verge of overheating," said Nagoya.

The group replied with an "aaaaaawww," except for Hinata and Naruto, who were having their own problems (coughPMScough)

"Don't worry though, it should be cool in twenty minutes. Until then, feel free to look around." Said Nagoya. Naruto then came out of the bathroom, which then made everyone stare at him, except for Hinata, who just tackled him and cried happily into his chest.

"Naruto-kun! You're alive!" said Hinata with some sobs. "I thought Neji killed you!" The anger for Neji made Hinata drop the suffixes for Neji.

"Oh when Neji tried to beat me up? Yeah, that was a bunshin. Heh heh," he then scratched behind his head and smiled sheepishly.

"I'm s-s-so g-g-glad you're a-alive!" she stuttered from the sobs. She then had an angry look on her face. (Imagine that) "But don't you DARE do that AGAIN Naruto-kun. (phew, still a suffix)! Understand?" her eye was also twitching.

Naruto, who was shocked and surprised, managed to spit out a "Y-y-y-yes m-maam," he then gulped. Hinata smiled and kissed Naruto. Then, they remembered where they left off before Neji pounced in. They started kissing again and it became a make-out session between those two, while the others looked around the lab, except for Neji, who was looking at the two.

"Get a room," said Neji. Ten

"Aaww come on Neji-kun," said Tenten "We do that a-mmph," Neji put a hand on her mouth, preventing her from going any further. Thankfully, for Neji, no one noticed what she said. Tenten decided to do something weird and licked Neji's hand. He then blushed and put his hand off. Tenten smiled and they both walked around the lab to see stuff. Naruto and Hinata stopped and decided to look around also.

Meanwhile, Chouji found a potion that read "Instant chips. Powder that become chips with a spoonful of water." Chouji asked Nagoya if it was ready and apparently, it was going to go through testing. Chouji volunteered to test the chips.

"Okay, there's potato, Barbeque, sour cream and onions, cheese, and tomato," said Nagoya. Sasuke then ran towards Chouji and knocked over Nagoya.

"tomato, Tomato, TOMATO," yelled a hyper Sasuke. He had foam coming out of his mouth, swirls in his eyes, a runny nose, and a stupid smile on his face. (Just think of him as if he's on crack) He was about to eat the powder when Sakura come out of nowhere and whipped Sasuke. Sasuke hissed and moved his hands like a cat.

"Bad Sasuke, bad!" Yelled Sakura.

"Away, you devil woman!" hissed Sasuke. She then dropped her whip and stood still, on the verge of tears. Sasuke then returned to his normal look. "Sakura-chan? Daijoubu?"(Daijoubu means are you okay?) He then put his hand on Sakura's cheek who then pushed him away and ran into the bathroom and locking it. "Sakura-chan!" he then walked to the bathroom.

"Go away!" said Sakura.

"What did I do?" asked Sasuke.

"You called me a devil woman!"

"oh…"

"waaaahh. Sasuke hates me!" Sakura was crying now.

"I'm sorry Sakura-chan. I was high that time. I didn't know what I was doing. I didn't want to hurt your feelings." He said this with a sincere tone.

"sniff. You really mean it?"

"Yes. I do, Sakura-chan."

"I now pronounce you husband and wife," said a priest coming out of nowhere.

"WTF?" Said Sasuke and Sakura at the same time. She came out of the bathroom when she said that.

"You may now kiss the bride," with that, they both shrugged their shoulders and kissed. They then ran out of the lab in a tux and brides outfit. Random people outside were clapping and throwing rice all over on them. The two went into a carriage and they rode into the sunset….

Switching to where Ino and Shikamaru are, the two are walking around looking at the stuff. Shikamaru suddenly sneezed and knocked over a potion that read "cat scent." The potion poured all over him, but Shikamaru thought it was juice. So did Ino.

"Aw shit. This is a new shirt too."

"That's a bad stain, but I was good news!" said Ino.

"What?" asked Shikamaru.

"I just saved a bunch of money by switching my car insurance to Geico."

Crickets start chirping.

"Ino."

"Yes Shika-kun?"

"What's a car."

"I dunno, you're the Genius."

"Oh"

"OMG! I SHIKAMARU IS A CAT!" Kiba yelled. He then jumped Shikamaru and bit and scratched him.

"KIBA! WTF ARE YOU DOING TO SHIKA-KUN?" yelled Ino.

"HE'S A CAT! I HATE CATS!" Akamaru then joined Kiba and jumped Shikamaru.

"ugh." Said Ino. She knew Shikamaru was helpless, so she stepped in to help. She put up a hand seal. "Mind Transfer Jutsu!" Then she went limp. She soon got up in Kiba's body. She decided to pick up Akamaru and threw into a chicken cage, which then ended up with Akamaru being pecked like hell.

"Shikamaru, Daijoubu?" asked the Ino soul in Kiba's body.

"Yeah." He then got a hammer. "Ino, on three, release your jutsu. I'll take care of him." He had an evil grin on him.

"Okay." Replied Ino.

"All right ready?" Ino nodded "Okay. One, two, three!" she released the jutsu. Soon Kiba woke up, but before he can say anything, Shikamaru swung his hammer to Kiba's man parts. (NEUTERED!) Then, Kiba screamed like a girl for a few seconds, and went unconscious. No else cared, though.

"Shika-kun, wasn't that a little harsh?" Ino asked.

"Ino, This was a hundred dollar shirt that I spent my money on. He ripped it up and there's drool stains on it, along with the other stains from the juice," answered Shikamaru.

"Oooooooh"

"Yup."

"Wanna dress up like cats?"

"Sure, not?" They dressed into cat costumes and acted like cats.

Now we go to Shino, who was staring at a vile, that read, "bug ecstasy." This led to Shino thinking into 'what the friggin hell is this scientist thinking of.' He also thought about what would happen if his bugs had the vile of 'bug ecstasy'. He then shuddered at the end of the though. He then continued to another glass. Unknown to him, a rebel bug came out of Shino's jacket unknowingly and decided to try the bug ecstasy. After he tried it, he soon went back to Shino and alerted the other bugs. Soon the bugs swarmed out and headed to the ecstasy.

"What the?" Shino said to himself. He turned around and the bugs were heading for the ecstasy. "Oh shit no." He tried to control the bugs, but it didn't work.

He then decided to stop them by force, but it was too late by then. All the bugs took the ecstasy and drank it all. Soon the bugs flew in a dizzy pattern back to Shino and dragged him into a closet. Shino was trying to get the other's attention, but once again, they didn't care or notice.

A few minutes later, the yells became moans of pleasure. (yeah, but the image into your head and let it burn into your skull! BURN I TELL YA!)

"Oh yeah, that felt really good. We should do it again sometime," said Shino. The bugs buzzed in a yes noise. They all came out of the closet (LOL) and the bugs went into Shino's body. He then walked away like nothing happened. Soon the machine was cool enough. Nagoya noticed this and went back.

"Okay guys, the machine's… ready… for…." Nagoya stopped what he was saying because of what was happening.

Hinata was in a leather outfit spanking Naruto like a dominatrix, but without a paddle, while Naruto was gagged, tied to a pole, and pants-less. Neji and Tenten were acting like snakes and slithering around the lab. Ino and Shikamaru were making out in cat costumes after playing like cats. Kiba was holding his jewels in an unconscious state while Akamaru was being pecked to death. Chouji was eating chips like no tomorrow and Nagoya could've sworn he had two more lab mice in the cage next to Chouji. Shino was sitting in a dark corner muttering something about the end of the world and strawberry pie. Rock Lee was outside hugging Gai while the two were yelling each other's names out loud, except, they were in a Santa outfit and the there's snow in the background instead of a sunset with a wave crashing.

"Oh. My. God. WTF did I do to deserve this?" asked Nagoya to himself.

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LHJ: well that's the end of it. R&R guys. Tell me if you liked this chapter. Right now, it's 3:45 a.m. and I'm tired.

Naruto: Hey! When's my turn.

LHJ: You're last Naruto.

Naruto: why?

LHJ: I'm saving the best for last.

Naruto: oh. Hee hee.

LHJ: what?

Naruto: I just recorded all of what you.

LHJ: Ooh shit. That was supposed to be a secret.

Naruto: Hehe. Hey guys! He told me when! And LHJ said I was the best!

Sasuke: No way.

Naruto: I swear!

LHJ: NARUTO! I'M GONNA KILL YOU!

Naruto: Uh-Oh. (runs off)

A Figment of My Imagination: Well, R&R and tell me if you like this chapter! I wanna know so I can know if you want me to right more. Well, Bye!


	6. An InoSasu Chapter w Drama

LHJ: Well, the people from Japan are here and I luckily get some private time. I also had to wake up early though. Now I have horrible gas from Korean BBQ… oops I'm going to far. Anyways, my mind got 2.3 more perverted and I will add messed up stuff that might have more perverted ness or a monkey eating peanuts. I also apologize to Saotome Kyuubi for his mental scars, but you can't sue me because I have special powers that can give you images to unscar your brain. Now, Kyuubi, think of the ocean, puppies, kitties, money, ramen, and a baby bunny. On a side note, I went to Universal Studios today and it was fun, since I haven't been there since about third grade. And Friday I'm going to Disneyland!

Sakura Ino Tenten and Hinata: LUCKY!

LHJ: why?

Sakura: I want a vacation.

LHJ: not my problem.

Ino: Can you give us money?

LHJ: No, I'm poor

Tenten: pwease. (puppy dog face)

LHJ: Nope.

Hinata: girls, I think I know what he wants.

LHJ: wha?

Hinata: you ready girls?

The other three: Yeah.

LHJ: uh-oh (In my mind: oh yeah baby!)

The Girls: (tackles me, strips me, strips themselves, kisses me, etc. you know the drill. No sexual stuff though…)

10 minutes later.

LHJ: (nosebleeds) heh heh heh.

The girls: how about now.

LHJ: I'll answer **after** the fic.

The girls: AAAWWW

My Perverted Mind: LHJ does not own Naruto. If he did, You would see this stuff happening every 10-15 episodes. Tee Hee!

------------------------------------------BWAHA!(dattebayo!)--------------------------------------

Last time, we saw Naruto getting spanked by a dominatrix Hinata, (drools) Kiba getting neutered, Akamaru getting pecked to death, Shino and his bugs getting it on, Tenten and Neji acting like snakes, Ino and Shikamaru making out in cat costumes without saying troublesome for 20 minutes, Lee and Gai hugging in Santa costumes, Chouji eating powdered chips, Sasuke and Sakura getting a fake marriage, The Sand Siblings playing laser tag, Orochimaru dreaming about Sasuke, Kabuto eating cheesecake, Jiraiya in a strip club, Tsunade drinking and **actually** doing paperwork, Kakashi reading Icha Icha Tactics Part II (yes I made the Part II up), a monkey riding a cow, me writing this without out horrible gas, my dog sleeping, hot ant-on-ant action, a rat eating fake cheese, and Nagoya getting freaked out by all this. Then, everyone went back to the machine. 

Everyone gave his or her attention to Nagoya, who then decided to forget what he was about to say.

"Uhh, I forgot what I was gonna say." Everyone groaned.

Naruto then noticed what Hinata was wearing, which was a dominatrix outfit consisting of a pair of tight leather short shorts that showed off a little bit of her butt while hugging it, a tight leather jacket which hugged her cleavage and showed the top of it and a bit of the bottom, a leather hat, chains around her wrists, a paddle holder, and some shoes. Naruto then got a nosebleed and then noticed that his pants were off. Luckily, no one noticed this (even Nagoya) and was about to get a hard-on by looking at Hinata. He luckily pulled his pants off before anyone noticed. Unfortunately, Hinata looked at Naruto, which caused her to look at his man parts and see his hard-on. They both noticed what the other person was doing and they both blushed.

"uh. Heh heh. Nice look Hinata," said Naruto with a sheepish grin.

"Oh. Actually, I kinda like it. It feels comfortable. I feel more open and free," she then noticed Naruto's nosebleed. She also realized why and made a mental note on how to surprise Naruto. "Father, unfortunately, won't allow me to wear this," Naruto wanted to take a picture now, but didn't have a camera. "I might keep this still."

Taking note on everyone else, they were all in the same costumes or conditions that they were still in. Kiba, however, was coughing up blood ever since getting a violent hit in the nuts. Every 10 minutes, he would go to the trashcan and puke a little blood out. Out of nowhere, Akamaru started heading towards Kiba.

"Akamaru! You're fine!" Kiba's jewels all of a sudden healed and he had no pain there. (Akamaru has magical powers that no human has)

Ino, still in a cat costume, came up with a question. Shikamaru, who was also in a cat costume, noticed this and was somewhat surprised.

"Uhm, what if Sasuke was _my _boyfriend?"

"You wish Ino-pig!" said Sakura. Ino, amazingly, ignored her.

Now, Ino said this because she thought Shikamaru wouldn't be too mad at this since he was lazy. Too bad Ino thought wrong though. He didn't do anything, but he was thinking it.

'I knew it. She still has feelings for Sasuke. She tried to keep it hidden, but she didn't hide it well enough. She's probably still jealous of Sakura for having Sasuke. She probably agreed to become my boyfriend because she was sorry for me. She probably wanted to make Sasuke jealous and make Ino his boyfriend. Maybe, I'm just a tool. Or, I might be the best she can get. Maybe no girl wants me and maybe Ino saying she loved me was just a lie.'

He kept thinking up until the machine started making its noises and flashes. Outside, a prostitute was walking around with her pimp. Then the crow from episode 101 kept saying "A hoe! A hoe!" instead of "Aho! Aho!" Then the machine stopped and yeah.

-------------------Start Sub-Story-------------------

Ino was working at her family's flower shop putting in new flowers in the cooling things. It seemed like a normal day, but it all changed.

"Sigh. I'm getting bored," she said to herself. She was trapped in there for another hour. "Well, another hour until I can go around town and shop."

Meanwhile, a certain Handsome Beast of Konoha was planning to ask a pink-haired kunoichi out on a date. He was looking around until he finally found her grocery shopping.

"Sakura-san! I will always protect you when you are in danger! I will never fail you in any way! With that said, will you please be mine?" said Rock Lee. (If you haven't figured it out yet or thought it was Gai, stop reading and hit yourself in the head.)

Sakura, who gave up on Sasuke because of his cold-heartedness, rejections, insults, and his betrayal toward Konoha, decided to go for someone else that cared for her. She thought about Naruto first, but remembered that Hinata like him and decided not to interfere with her. She also thought that Naruto would be better off with Hinata and not her, even though it sort of hurt her a little since Naruto matured somewhat and grew fond of him. She then gave Rock Lee her answer.

"Yes, Lee-san. I would love to."

Lee was happy and surprised. Happy in her answer and surprised with the answer. He got rejected before, but she finally accepted his offer.

"Oh Sakura-san! I will be the best date you've had!"

"Uh, Lee-san. If it's not too much of a problem, can you please call me Sakura-**chan**?"

"Of course, my angel sent from the Heavens above! I'm off to buy some flowers!" He then went to the flower shot close by, which happened to be the Ino's family's shop. (forgot how to spell her last name)

Ino was sweeping the entrance of the shop for last the minutes of her "shift". She then noticed a green blur running toward her at a fast rate. A few seconds later, she realized that it was non other than Rock Lee. He then stopped in front of her.

"Hi there Lee-san! Are you gonna ask Sakura again?" asked Ino.

"Oh, I have already asked my angel out on a date." Said Lee in a happy tone. Ino was confused.

"What do you mean?"

"I decided to ask first and by her flowers after she said yes. Anyways, I sort of bumped into her when I was at the store."

"Ooooh. Makes sense to me." She put on a smiled and said in her head that Sasuke is all hers now.

"Ino-san. May I purchase a bouquet of flowers for my love?" asked Lee.

"Sure! Of course!" Ino then led Lee inside and let him pick out what he thought was the best. After a while, he took the ones he thought were good and paid for them. Once Lee left, she was allowed to leave and do what she wanted.

"First step, find Sasuke. Second step, ask him out. Hopefully, he'll say yes and I'll be in the clear," she said to herself and memorized it. Just as soon she finished saying that, Sasuke was sitting on a bench with his eyes closed. She was walking toward him and decided to sit next to him.

"What do you want?" asked Ino in a monotone voice.

"Well, I heard Sakura and Lee are going out," she said with a sweet voice. His eyebrows perked up a little but went back down two seconds later. "Now, I was thinking, would you like to go out with me?"

"Hn," was what he said. "If it gets you off my back, then yes."

Ino's eyes went wide with happiness. "R-R-Really?" He nodded.

"Let's make it tomorrow. I have some errands to run and I'll be busy for a while."

"Okay!" Ino yelled and went shopping for new clothes.

The Next Day 

During training, Ino was off because of her date with Sasuke. Shikamaru, Chouji, and Asuma noticed this easily and became curious. After deciding on who should ask her what happened, Shikamaru stepped up toward Ino.

"Hey Ino. You're off today! What's wrong?" asked Shikamaru.

"Oh, It's nothing, Except that I have A DATE WITH SASUKE!" Ino was definitely excited. (She's frickin loud)

Shikamaru was kind of hurt by this, but didn't show it. Asuma and Chouji were also surprised by Sasuke accepting a date offer from Ino.

After training, she went home to get ready. She took a bath, did her hair, put on a dress that she bought from the day before, which was blue and strapless with glitter. The dress made her chest look bigger and, which might get Sasuke's attention easier. She then put on make-up. She then got special shoes just for this date. She looked at herself in the mirror and left her house. She walked to the restaurant they agreed to go to. It was a simple date. A dinner and a walk it would be.

Once she got there, Sasuke was already there in his usual clothes. Ino didn't mind what he was wearing though. As long as she went on a date and became his boyfriend. Sasuke noticed something different about Ino. She looked somewhat prettier than she normally did.

'Is it me, or does her chest look bigger?' thought Sasuke.

"Hi Sasuke!" Ino said in a cheery voice.

"Hn. Come on, let's go inside." Just as Sasuke said this, he noticed Lee and Sakura walking toward them. Sakura was in a similar dress Ino was in, except it didn't glitter, had a spaghetti strap, and was red. Lee was in a shirt and tie with pants ensemble.

"Hey, look who's here!" said Sakura.

"Hey forehead-girl. Looks like I managed to get Sasuke and you didn't." Ino then stuck her tongue out and pulled her bottom eyelid down with her index finger.

"Well I don't care anymore. Lee actually cares about me and doesn't insult me," said Sakura.

"Why don't we have a double date? Sakura**-chan **go together along with Ino and Sasuke," said Lee out of nowhere.

"Why not?" said Sasuke out of the blue also. The other three stared at Sasuke. "What? Am I not allowed to speak or something?"

They all then went inside and sat down at a booth. Since I'm too lazy to put details in here, I'm gonna say that Sasuke learned to like Ino after talking to her for a while and Lee and Sakura kissed each other. After the dinner the two pairs of couples parted and Ino and Sasuke were taking a walk. There was a silence until Sasuke broke it.

"You know, to tell you the truth, I actually grow kind of fond of you from the dinner."

"R-Really" Ino stuttered. 'Uh-oh. I'm stuttering Like Hinata-chan.' He nodded.

They then went for another short silence. Ino broke it this time.

"You obviously know that I like you. So, can we become boyfriend and girlfriend?"

Sasuke took some time to think which went into another silence.

"Yes Ino-chan," said Sasuke after a minute or two. They both stopped and looked at each other. Then, the space between then became closer and soon they kissed…

-------------------------End Sub-Story----------------------

"So I could've had a chance huh?" asked Ino mainly to herself. She then looked to her side where Shikamaru is. She noticed him with a sad look on his face. "What's wrong Shika-kun?"

"…" He was lost in thought.

"Shika-kun?" She sounded worried now.

"…" He sighed and started talking. "So, Ino, What am I to you?'

Ino was surprised at what he said. "You're my Shika-kun silly" she then put a hand around Shikamaru's shoulder.

"No, what I mean is, am I important to you or am I a tool?" Shikamaru had a really serious tone.

"I-I-I…" She was speechless.

"That's what I thought. Tch. I'm leaving." He got up from where he was sitting and went outside and walked away/

"Wait! Shika-kun!" She got up, went out of the door, and started looking around. Unfortunately, she couldn't find him.

"Shika-kun…" Tears started forming in her eyes.

-------------------------------------------So much drama!-----------------------------------------

LHJ: So there you have it. That's what happens in this chapter. Now, I'm going to sleep. Goodnight.

Sakura: Wait, what about the money?

LHJ: Later. I'm beat.

Tenten: (sigh) we're going to have to do this the hard way. Come on girls

(They pounce on me and drag me to the bed and do unmentionable thoughts.)

Hinata: Remember to R&R. They are helpful!

Ino: Also, remember that Updates might be slow until next Tuesday!


	7. InoxShika Love problems Part Uno

LHJ: Man, I've been busy this week. Wednesday, I went to Universal Studios, Friday, I went to Disneyland for 12 hours, and I had a basketball game today, which is Saturday. Now I'm writing this chapter because I have a few ideas about continuing from what happened last chapter (Shikamaru being hurt by Ino). So, this chapter will** NOT **have a sub-story and yeah… that's all I have to say. I'm sorry if you wanted one, but I don't have much time to write this.

The loud boar (Ino): Soo, this chapter is about us?

LHJ: uh, yeah.

The lazy deer (Shikamaru): how troublesome.

LHJ: Hmm. I haven't had you say that phrase that much.

The fat butterfly (Chouji): (is happily eating potato chips)

LHJ: uuuuuhhhh. Can I have some chips?

Fat butterfly: NOO! THESE ARE **MINE!**

LHJ: ….

Lazy deer: can I have some?

Fat butterfly: sure!

LHJ: Hey! You ju…

Fat butterfly: NOOOOO!

Loud boar: Can I have some too?

Fat butterfly: Of course!

LHJ: THAT'S IT! CHOUJI! YOU'RE NOT IN THIS FANFIC ANYMORE!

Fat butterfly: eep! Uhh here! (Hands me some chips)

LHJ: (snatches chip bag) You don't need these fatass!

Fat butterfly: (suddenly turns into Cartman) You know what! I don't need this abuse! Screw you guys, I'm going home!

LHJ: Oo. Anyways… Shikamaru, Disclaimer. NAO!

Lazy deer: ugh, how troublesome. Longhairedjuice doesn't own Naruto, but if he did I would be sleeping right now.

LHJ: Ah good enough.

-------------------------------------------------Drama!----------------------------------------------

_Last time on this fanfic, Shikamaru was hurt because of Ino's What-if question. Now he ran off and Ino can't find him. Now, we go to her receiving comfort from her friends, mainly the girls anyways, and they want to do something._

"Sob, It's a-a-all my f-fault," sobbed Ino. If you haven't noticed, she is crying her eyes out. "He p-probably thought I-I was l-lying when I told him I l-love him! Oh I'm such an Idiot! I don't know much about love! I was being a jerk!" While she kept putting herself down and the other girls saying "No you're not!" or "That's not true," Chouji managed to sneak out and search for Shikamaru, but it wasn't too hard since he knew where he would be. He went to the biggest tree in the park and found Shikamaru staring at the clouds sitting against the tree. He looked sadder than he's ever been.

"I thought I'd find you here," said Chouji.

He took a while to reply. "Go away. I don't care about Ino anymore." Said Shikamaru with a monotone voice. It had a hint of sadness, but not enough for Chouji to notice. Ino might, but not Chouji.

"She still cares about you. She's crying a river over you."

"I don't care. She's sorry because she's inconsiderate or she just wants to play with my heart and she put on this disguise."

"Wow, you're a genius and you can't tell that she loves you." He shifted slightly to a comfortable position.

"Shut up Chouji. Don't be troublesome. Just leave."

"hmph that's your problem," he crossed his arms. "You're too lazy to do anything and you don't want to make things better (or worse but that would be bad, wouldn't it?)

"I said leave." Shikamaru's voice became agitated.

"Fine" Chouji turned and headed back to the lab. Shikamaru sighed and said something.

"Chouji. Tell her that I'm breaking up with her so she can have someone batter than me. I don't deserve her anymore," Chouji's eyes widened and stopped dead in his tracks.

"You can't be serious. She's going to take this really seriously."

"I know. Also tell her I don't deserve her and she's better off with another man than a lazy bastard," He paused and sighed. "Also tell her I hope she'll get someone better than me." Shikamaru got up and left. Chouji stood there for a few seconds and headed back.

Back at the lab, Ino was still crying, but now it was worse. Now some of the boys were trying to comfort her. Nagoya just stood there drinking some beer (Yeah not sake). Chouji then opened the door and everyone turned to face him.

"Did you see Shikamaru?" Said Sakura while holding a crying Ino. Chouji nodded. "What did he say?"

"Well…" He started scratching the back of his head the same way Naruto would except not in a happy way. "He said he thought you were inconsiderate and you were just playing with his heart."

"It's not true!" Yelled Ino.

"He told me to leave and not make things troublesome, but I told him that he was too lazy and didn't bother to make things better." He then paused and looked at Ino, who was tear stained. "I was about to leave when he stopped me. He said that he doesn't deserve you anymore."

'No,' Ino thought.

"He said that he didn't treat you right"

'No,' Ino thought again.

"He said he…" Chouji swallowed a lump in his throat. "He wanted to break up with you."

Those words pierced her heart like a kunai. She never saw this coming. She knew he was hurt, but she didn't know it hurt him this much. Their relation ship was practically perfect. It was possibly the best one out of the group. 'Shika-kun' She started crying again, except it was a lot louder than before. It was so loud, all of Konoha and the Suna can hear it. Speaking of Suna…

Gaara was standing on the balcony of his palace. He was staring at his village, since he was the kazekage. Suddenly he heard something. It sounded like a crying noise. It didn't sound too important to the village, so he just let it go. He then turned around facing the window to the entrance.

"Is the hot tub ready?" asked Gaara.

"Mmmh. Yes it Gaara-kun," said a girl with a sexy voice. She then walked outside in a skimp two-piece. "Come on in. It's empty without you in it."

Gaara smirked and walked to the hot tub. They both got in and took off they're clothes.

Back at the lab, Ino was still crying after an hour and had no signs of stopping. Everyone was now worried. Even Neji and Sasuke had a worried look, but they weren't thinking what everyone was thinking. 'When the hell is she gonna stop. Seriously, she's worse than a banshee!' the two thought. Nagoya even looked worried. He then stepped in. He gave out a fake cough to get they're attention.

"I'll continue this test tomorrow. Maybe you guys can figure this out. Be here by three and we'll start again. You guys can leave now." They all nodded, got up, and went out of the door to the outside.

Ino and Sakura decided to go walk around and get Ino calm again. The crying didn't have any hints of stopping. Sakura was running out of ideas on how to make her stop. Once, she made it worse, but managed to bring it back to how it started.

"Look. Shikamaru probably wanted you to have a better life and didn't want to you to be disappointed by having him in the future. He probably thought his laziness would get you angry." Said Sakura, now getting desperate in trying to make her stop crying.

"I-I was used to his l-l-laziness now. Anyways, I o-only loved him a-a-and only him. Sasuke-e was just a s-s-simple crush. H-h-h-he was the only o-one I loved," said Ino sobbing. They continued walking until they somehow got to Shikamaru's house.

"Why don't we talk to him and work things out?" asked Sakura. Ino nodded slowly. They went up to his front door and Sakura knocked. No answer. Sakura knocked again except it was louder. Still no answer. She tried again, except she shouted, "Shikamaru! It's Ino and Sakura. We want to talk to you!" She kept pounding the door for a few seconds. They waited for a few minutes until they decided that he wasn't there.

"Why don't we go shopping? That should get your mind off of him," asked Sakura.

"Nothing's going to make me forgot Shika-kun." She was now somewhat pale.

"Well we can't keep crying can't we" She said with a happy tone.

"Shut up Sakura." Sakura groaned and dragged Ino to the mall.

Shikamaru was in his room sitting on his bed. He sighed. 'Ino is pretty and strong. She deserves better than a lazy asshole than me.' His thoughts were interrupted by a knock. He didn't feel like company right now, so he just let it go. There was a knock again only it was louder. He didn't answer it. Then the knocks came back, except it was a pounding. There was also yelling. "Shikamaru! It's Ino and Sakura. We want to talk to you!" He didn't really want to see Ino right now. He just sat on his bed trying to think, put the poundings kept going. Once they stopped, he sighed quietly and continued thinking. After a while, he decided to ask this one girl who had an eye on him and give her a try. He picked up the phone and punched in some numbers. It rang and a girl picked it up.

"_Hey. Who's this?" _said the girl.

"It's Shikamaru," he replied.

"_Oh hey what's up?"_

"Well, my girlfriend and I broke."

"Oh! You and Ino I'm so sorry." 

"Thanks. Hey, do you want to go out with me?"

"Of course I would! When?" 

"How about now?"

"How?" 

"The jutsu of yours."

"Oh yeah. I'll see you at the mall in about an hour then."

"Okay, sounds good."

"Bye" 

"Bye"

They both hung up.

Ino and Sakura were shopping at the mall. Ino stopped crying when they got there and Sakura sighed once she stopped. Ino was still obviously sad and her head was hanging down. Sakura was still worried that she might hurt herself physically is she kept up like this.

"You know, it's not good to be sad all the time," said Sakura.

"I don't care. Without Shika-kun, I just don't feel whole." Her voice was quieter than usual. Sakura sighed.

"Fine. If you get hurt from this, don't come to me then." They kept walking until Sakura felt hungry. "Let's go get something to eat." Ino nodded. They both got to the food court a few minutes later and went to a place where they sold sandwiches and ordered some. When they got their food, they went upstairs to find a quieter table. Once they got upstairs, their eyes widened. Ino dropped her food and ran back downstairs to the bathroom. Sakura ran after her.

"I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT ASSHOLE! WE BREAK UP AND HE GOES WITH ANOTHER DATE!" Yelled Ino. Once people inside heard her yelling, they all quickly walked out of the bathroom.

"He's probably just friends with her and she was in town," Sakura tried to comfort her, but she knew it was true. She was crying again, but you can hear some hints of anger in it.

"Sakura, you know that they're on a date. Don't comfort me with those stuff." Said Ino, kind of pissed off. Sakura knew that nothing would help her now after what seeing Shikamaru and another girl kissing. "Do you think he was cheating on me or something?"

"No way! Your relationship was the best of the group. This is probably the only bad thing in your relationship."

"Yeah still. I can't believe he was with…

---------------------So much frickin drama. It's the OC or Laguna Beach-----------------------

LHJ: Ha! Cliffhanger! Noone can suspect who it was! Okay maybe they can. Anyways, I'm sorry for not putting in any sub-stories in this chapter. I had a mental block for then and had better ideas for Ino and Shikamaru. Well anyways, does anyone of your guys have anything to say?

….

Anyone?

….

Hello?

Kiba: No. We're just anxious on what happens next.

LHJ: Oh. Well, Reviews people. I would love them! On a side note, I lied that updates would not be up until Tuesday. Now it's time to hit the sack.


	8. InoxShika Love problems Part Dos

LHJ: Aahh another chapter to make. Yeah. Now that the people I mentioned that came from Japan left, I can update easier! Oh, and this chapter is mainly about Ino and Shika with their problem, so sorry, if you were expecting one but too bad. Life works that way. Aaah I don't what else to say.

Naruto: Hey! What happened to Hinata-chan and I?

LHJ: You'll be in it sometime don't worry.

Naruto: Well you should add the group too! It's not just Ino and that lazy-ass too!

Hinata: I agree!

LHJ: Hey! No stuttering!

Naruto: Yay!

Hinata: (blushes)

Tenten: Uuh, when is this chapter gonna start?

LHJ: As soon as the disclaimer is done! Anyone wanna do it?

…..

LHJ: (cocks gun) _**I said, anyone want to do it?** _

Sasuke: (puts Naruto's hand up) Hey Naruto.

Naruto: Hey! Sasuke-teme!

LHJ: Hey, thanks for volunteering. (puts gun down)

Naruto: (sighs) well, I did it before anyways. (clears throat) Longhairedjuice does not own me, any of the characters, or the monkey in my closet. (shudders) Damn that monkey.

LHJ: oookay. Moving right along…

----------------------OMG! It's like the OC or some other crappy show I hate!-------------------

_Ugh, I'm announcer person that does the flash back of the last chapter. I'm really high right now and I don't what to do. Heh heh. Naruto._

(Damn it. I'll have to do it. Well, last time, Ino saw Shikamaru with his date at the mall and got really pissed. Now, she's in the bathroom, about to take a dump, er, I mean crying after seeing those two **KISSING**. We'll start with **Shikamaru's POV**, before going to the mall.)

After I hung up on the phone after asking out Temari (Yeah, you all ruined it), I decided to get myself together and get myself ready. I went to take a shower and got out clean clothes. After I got dressed, I looked at the clock and I had about 50 minutes till she got here. It only took me 10 minutes to get there, so I tried to do something that would occupy me even if they were troublesome.

(All right. I'm interrupting this because I hear that some doctor is making anti-tupid pills. LMAO! And now, back to the fanfic.)

"Sigh." I looked around my room. It was messy. I always saw cleaning troublesome. (me too) Amazingly, I did clean it and it looked a lot better. I looked at the clock. I got surprised as I thought, '40 minutes? Time must be slow. How troublesome' I was bored out of my mind.

I then sat on my bed and just, well, thought. 'What if Ino saw me with her? Hmm, I should ask the what-if machine, but it's too troublesome. Besides, it might take too long. But, if I got dumped by Temari, that would mean that I would have no woman to be with me. Man, how troublesome. I just hope I won't blow it today.' I kept thinking until there was 15 minutes left. Then I decided to go.

At the main entrance, I met up with Temari. She carried her big ass fan on her back, even though she was in little danger since ANBU secured this place, but you can never be safe.

"Hey Shikamaru. What's up?" asked Temari.

"Eeh. Nothing much. You?"

"Hungry."

"Yeah, me too. Lets get to the food court."

We got to the food court and got to the hamburger stand. I ordered a regular combo, which consisted of a cheeseburger, fries, and a drink. Temari got a veggie burger. We decided to eat upstairs.

"So, when did you two break up?" asked Temari out of the blue.

"Today."

"Wait. Did you break up with her, or did she break up with her?"

"I broke up with her."

"Oh, okay. That makes things somewhat better."

We kept talking about different things and laughed about certain things. When we finished, we threw our things away, but sat back down at the table we were at. She then asked why we broke up and I explained to her what happened. After I explained to her what happened, I kind of felt sad again, but it wasn't because of breaking up. It was because of hurting Ino.

'I wonder if Ino handled it well. I hope she doesn't do anything drastic. I mean, I didn't tell it to her face and left Chouji to do my dirty work for her. I wonder how she is now. Wait. What am I thinking? Why should I care? She's the one who hurt **me**. She's the one who decided to ask about some other boy in front of my face.' I kept thinking for a while until I noticed a hand in front of my face.

"Heeelllloooo? Shikamaru? You in there?" she was waving her hand in front of me.

"Oh, uh yeah. I'm fine." I continued thinking. She then got up got a cup of water, and poured all over my face.

"There. That should keep you awake."

"Women are troublesome." She smirked at that comment.

"Well, you're no prize either."

"Like I haven't heard that before."

"Anyways. I have to tell you something."

"Huh?" What was she talking about?

"Well, the reason I came here was to get you and Ino back together?"

"Why?" I was puzzled and was wondering why she said this.

"Well, I heard that your relationship was practically the best in the entire village, even though you have different personalities. You guys rarely fight, or so I heard, you two get along great. I also heard that you two were going out for about four and a half years together without much trouble. At first I thought it was amazing, but then I thought it would be a shame you two broke up," she took a sip of her soda. Apparently, she kept hers with her. "Anyways, you guys have one fight and you break up. No relationship is perfect. She still might like Sasuke a little, but she'll get over it. You two will get married together and she'll forget all about him." She took another sip of her drink. "What I'm saying is that you two should be back together or else you wont be happy with your life." (did I just write that?)

Temari was right. She barely talked about Sasuke when we were together. I also don't feel the same feeling around Temari when I'm around Ino.

"You're right Temari. She perfect for me. I don't need another woman, no offense to you."

"None taken." She took another sip.

I then had a thought, 'Why was she helping me.' I asked what I thought.

"Well, I already have a boyfriend back at Suna and told him about what happened. The reason I said yes to the date was just to help you." So far, it made sense to me. "My boyfriend agreed with me and told me to go. I told him that I might kiss him and he was fine with it." Another sip. (how many sips is she gonna take while talking?) "I said to myself that you two shouldn't lose your relationship and I will help you no matter what since we are friends. Makes sense right?"

It did to me. I didn't have problems with it. I was slightly surprised at the kiss part, but I didn't show it.

"Well, thanks for helping me. You've been great."

"Anytime." She then gave me a short kiss on my lips. I then heard a gasp and some food falling. I turned around and saw Sakura running after a blonde haired girl, which turned out to be Ino.

'Crap. This is gonna be hard to explain.' I then ran after her, which went to the girls' restroom. 'How troublesome.'

Normal POV 

"Damn. What am I gonna do now?" Shikamaru.

Inside the restroom, Ino was getting from sad to angry. She was out of the stall she was in and looking at the mirror.

"DAMN IT! FIRST HE BREAKS UP WITH ME BY HAVING CHOUJI TELL ME AND NOW HE'S KISSING GIRLS HOURS AFTER WE BREAK UP. I BET HE WAS CHEATING ON ME! GAAAH!" Outside Shikamaru was getting scared. Sakura was getting slightly scared, but was kind of used to it.

"Let's go find him and work things out," said Sakura.

"YEAH! LET'S FIND HIM AND KILL HIM!" Her face then went from anger to puzzled. "Wait, we didn't find him earlier. Where would we find him now?"

"We just won't give up then." She then went out the door and ran into none other than the Nara Genius. "Oh, Shikamaru! We were just looking for you." Then, there were some stomping noises.

"WHAT MAKES YOU GET AWAY WITH KISSING A GIRL NOT TOO LONG AFTER BREAKING UP? WERE YOU CHEATING ON ME AND BROKE UP WITH ME BEFORE WE BROKE UP?" She was red faced mad. Shikamaru was just standing there calm. He then kissed her passionately. Ino enjoyed this, but then she slapped the living hell out of him. "IF YOU THINK KISSING ME WILL HELP, YOU BETTER THINK AGAIN ASSHOLE." Shikamaru was facing the other way after getting slapped.

"Sigh. This _is _harder than I thought," said Shikamaru.

"YOU GOT THAT RIGHT! I AM GOING TO KILL YOU FOR HURTING ME!"

"You don't know how hard you hurt me, don't you?" Ino went from angry, to worried. (mood swings)

'Crap, I completely forgot that he was hurt too. Damn, have I been a bitch…' she thought. (that's an understatement) Then she cried again on the floor.

"Shika-kun sob I'm so so sob sorry. I was ignorant and selfish. I didn't even sob think about you sob. Can you sob forgive me? Sob," asked Ino while sobbing (duh).

"I forgive you. Now, it's my turn to talk." Ino looked up at Shikamaru. "Ino, Temari made me realize that you are the only one that I can love. We have something very special and I almost destroyed it. Sigh. What I'm saying is, can we get back together now. I kept thinking about how much I hurt you?"

Ino was happy and at a loss for words. She didn't know what to say. When she did, the words were stuck in her throat. Instead she just tackled him and kissed him like crazy.

"Of course Shika-kun. I really want to," said Ino.

"Good. Also, I'm sorry for overreacting."

"No, it's my fault. I shouldn't have asked that without your acceptance." She nuzzled her face into his chest. "I love you Shika-kun."

"I love you too." They both kissed. After a while, they both gasped for air.

'Still a good kisser.' They both thought. (well, you only broke up for a few hours…)

"I have a question, though. Why did you kiss Temari?" asked Ino with a playful an-gery voice.

"Oh, It was just a friendly kiss just to tell each other that we're still friends." He kissed her quickly. He then finally noticed the tear stains on her face.

"Wow. You really were hurt that much."

"Huh? You mean my face," (NOO he meant your arm!) he nodded. "Oh, well, I was crying for three hours straight."

"I'm sorry for making you cry that much. I was sort of overreacting."

"It doesn't matter anymore. Screw Sasuke. I only want you." They then kissed passionately again.

'Heh. Temari was right.' Shikamaru thought.

They both kept making out in front of the bathroom with people giving them weird looks or avoiding them and little kids teasing them. Ino and Shikamaru didn't care though. They just cared about each other for the time being.

Meanwhile, with Sakura, she was inside the candy store buying candy and eating some at the same time. She went to the back and found a glowing door. It didn't say employees only so she could probably go in. With that, She opened and was surprised to see that the room was just a bathroom that was smelly and dirty.

"Eeeeew," said Sakura. She slammed the door and paid for the candy. Inside the bathroom, little toilet gnomes came out of the toilet and cleaned the bathroom. Soon, it smelled like flowers, a clean toilet and sink, and a mini waterfall next to the toilet with toilet paper on top of it.

The gnomes went back inside the toilet and left. Then some fat guy sat on the toilet and made it dirty again, exploded the toilet, scratched the sink, and clogged the waterfall think it was a trash can for the paper towels. That was the end of the clean bathroom of the mall.

------------------------------------------------Boo---------------------------------------------------

LHJ: yay! I'm done. Now, I'm going to sleep.

Naruto: I love you Hinata-chan.

Hinata: I love you Naruto-kun

Sasuke: I love you Sakura-chan

Sakura: I love you Sasuke-kun

Neji: I love you Tenten

Tenten: I love you Neji-kun

Shikamaru: I love you Ino-chan

Ino: I love you Shika-kun

LHJ: I love you apple pie!

Pie: before I get eaten, I would like to say REVIEW PEOPLE REVIEW! They help a lot! Yeah. Bye! (gets eaten)


	9. Shino's Youthful Experience

LHJ: Well, another chapter. Now we're back to the what-if questions. By the way, if you hated the Ino and Shikamaru thing, **I'm not sorry.** Why should I? It's my fanfic. I still might do something like that, but it may be random. Also, **don't excpect updates till Tuesday. **I'm going on a trip this weekend. Anyways, I turned on Peanut Putter Jelly Time and I'm ready to write.

Sasuke: (puts on banana suit) IT'S PEANUT BUTTER JELLY TIME! PEANUT BUTTER JEALLY TIME! PEANUT BUTTER JEALLY TIME!

Sakura: uuhhh Sasuke?

Sasuke: (continues singing)

Itachi: Here, let me help. (puts on a lullaby)

Sasuke: PEANUT BUTTER JELLY WITH A baseball baaatt…. Zzzz (falls asleep)

LHJ: uuhh. Let's play another song. (plays Twisted Transistor by Korn).

Neji: BECAUSE THE MUSIC TO. MUSIC TO. MUSIC TO.

Tenten: (pushes LHJ off the computer and plays Tell Me Baby by Red Hot Chili Peppers)

Shikamaru: (gets out guitar) Tell me baby. What's your story. Where did u come from and where you wanna go this time oh.

Ino: (turns off amp)

Shikamaru: (continues playing and singing.)

Ino: damn. Wrong amp. (turns off another amp)

LHJ: Oww my head. (gets back on computer and turns on Snap Yo Fingers by Lil Jon.)

Naruto: (Busts into room from door with Pimp Cup) SNAP YO FINGERS! DO YO STEP! YOU CAN DO IT ALL BY YO SELF!

Hinata: (giggles.) here. I know what to do. (makes ramen in one second) Naruto!

Naruto: Ramen! (Takes off pants, but leaves on boxers and runs over to the table with ramen.) Itadakimasu! (Starts slurping)

Hinata: (blushes slightly and thinks) I've seen his manhood with my byakugan. (covers mouth and blushes madly.)

LHJ: OMG! Hinata you bad girl! Anyways, DISCLAIMER! HURRY UP!

Shino's bugs: (they form into these words) Longhairedjuice does not own Naruto in any way possible. (starts buzzing Snap Yo Fingers.)

LHJ: I love that song.

-------------------------------------WHAAAT! OKAAAY!---------------------------------------

We don't really need a recap. So we'll just continue on the day after the events happened.

Anyways, everyone meets at the lab for another day of What-if predictions. The mornings are the same as usual except for the Uchiha, who had an encounter with Orochimaru's Ghost.

FLASHBACK 

They all have a normal lunch with each other and a normal morning of training with their friends/themselves (they're all Jounin so their senseis didn't need to train with them, except for Lee who has a thing for Gai). Training was cut short because of the meeting

Now here's where the strange things start. (they had to happen eventually that day) Sasuke woke up that morning, did his daily morning rituals, and left for training. He had a weird feeling or a strange presence around him though. He kept ignoring it until he heard a voice. 'that voice' he thought 'it sounds like… OMFG! OROCHIMARU!' Then, Orochimaru's Ghost appeared in front of him.

"I want your body!" said Orochimaru's ghost. "Why can't I have it?"

"Get the hell away from me you Michael Jackson wanabe!" screamed Sasuke in a girly voice.

"I love yooooouuu!" The ghost then disappeared. Sasuke kept screaming like a girl and eventually stopped. People passing by, including Kakashi with his Icha Icha book, were staring at him weird. "WHAT!" He growled. Everyone but Kakashi got scared and left. Kakashi just walked away reading his book like nothing happened.

'Ever since he came back, he became weirder and weirder. Damn Orochimaru and his child molesting organization.' Thought Kakashi.

END FLASHBACK 

Sasuke was a little bit scared and wary because of that. Sakura sensed something wrong with Sasuke, but thought it was gas or something. Nagoya then came out of his office, which no one noticed, and walked next to the machine.

"Sorry I'm late. I was working on something called the fin-longer (coughSaotome Kyubicough) and I lost track of time," said Nagoya. "Okay… Question anyone?"

Shino's hand came up rather quickly. Everyone was a bit surprised at this. Everyone thought he wouldn't ask a question.

"What-if I became crazy and went berserk?" Everyone stared at him with a weird look. "What? Can't I ask a random question and be out of character?" Everyone just stared.

"You heard him machine! Tell us or else I'll shoot you," yelled Nagoya. Everyone else just stared at him strangely.

"You can't shoot me! I'm your best invention yet!" said the machine through its speakers. Everyone was weirded out now.

"Oh yeah," replied Nagoya. The machine then made its flashes and noises. Outside, a bunch of animals were going by the lab and Konohamaru, Udon, Moegi, and Hanabi were running after them. The Third Hokage, as a ghost, was running after them. The machine stopped and played the thing.

-------------------Start sub-story-------------------

It was a beautiful day. The sun was shinning, the birds were chirping, and Kabuto's ghost was searching for Orochimaru. Shino Aburame (not sure if the spelling is right) woke up from his slumber and had a weird feeling. He smiled (wow) and had a crazed look on his face. He got up and laughed hysterically as he did his morning stuff. He went out the door and planned to do some mischief for the day.

He kept walking around and managed to find Hinata and Naruto walking around. Shino's face returned to normal as he walked up to them. Hinata then noticed Shino.

"Good Morning Shino," said Hinata.

"Hey Shino…" said Naruto. He didn't really like him too much.

"HEY GUYS! WAAAAZZUUUP!" He said with his tongue wagging. Naruto and Hinata were confused.

"Uhh Shino, you okay?" asked Naruto.

"Hell yeah I'm fine. Never been better! SNAP YO FINGERS! Moo," said Shino like a mad man. He then kissed Hinata which made Naruto pissed.

"SHINO! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING KISSING MY GIRLFRIEND IN FRON OF ME!"

Shino then kissed Naruto longer than with Hinata. Naruto tried to get away, but Shino was hugging him. Shino stopped and did a 'Woohoo' like daffy duck and zipped away.

"What's wrong with Shino?" asked a puzzled Hinata.

"Bleh. I dunno, but he's always scared me." Naruto then got some water and rinsed his mouth out.

Shino then decided to go find Gai and Lee to have some fun. He found him at the training grounds finishing their usual 500-one-handed thumb-pushups. Gai and Lee then got up.

"HELLO SHINO-SAN! HOW'S THE FLAME OF YOUR YOUTH BURNING TODAY?" exclaimed Gai.

"THE FLAME OF MY YOUTH IS BURNING BRIGHTER THAN USUAL! HOW ABOUT YOUR'S?"

"GOOD! THANKS FOR ASKING!" exclaimed Gai and Lee.

"MAY I JOIN YOU TWO IN YOUR YOUTHFUL TRAINING?"

"OF COURSE! WE WERE JUST ABOUT TO START DOING OUR 50 LAPS AROUND KONOHA! ARE YOU READY?"

"YES LET'S START NOW!"

"YEAH!"

With that, they ran off. 45 minutes later, they were done and weren't even tired.

"OUR YOUTH IS BURNING BRIGHTER THAN EVER! I AM PROUD OF YOU TWO!" exclaimed Gai.

"THANK YOU GAI-SENSEI!" they both said.

"GAI-SENSEI!"

"LEE!"

"SHINO"

"GAI-SENSEI!"

"LEE!"

"SHINO!"

The three then embraced in a three-way hug in a sunset with a wave crashing onto some rocks.

"WELL, I HAVE TO LEAVE NOW! BYE MY YOUTHFUL FRIENDS!" yelled Shino.

"BYE MY YOUTHFUL COMPANION!" exclaimed Lee.

"SHINO! HERE'S IS A GREEN SUIT FOR YOU!" yelled Gai. He then gave Shino the suit.

"OH THANK YOU GAI SENSEI! I WILL WEAR THIS AS SOON AS POSSIBLE!" Shino ran off to put on his new green spandex suit.

On another side of town, Neji and Tenten are sitting under a tree making out after training. Shino was running around in his brad new spandex suit and spotted the two. He decided to go up to then and talk about stuff, mainly about youth. (Gai gotten a new recruit for his youth-speaking army)

"HI NEJI AND TENTEN!" yelled Shino. This made Neji slip away from Tenten. Tenten became pissed.

"LEE YOU STUPID IDIOT! HOW MANY TIMES HAVE I TOLD YOU TO STOP INTERUPTING US WHEN we're making…" Tenten then realized it was Shino… in a green jumpsuit. "Lee, what are you doing in that… thing?"

"I'M HERE TO TELL YOU ABOUT YOUR YOUTH TODAY!"

"oh God. It's another lee…" said Neji after recomposing himself.

"Lets run away!" They quickly got up and got away in a dash leaving Shino to talk about youth.

Tenten and Neji ran until they saw Hinata and Naruto with Sasuke and Sakura who were sitting outside at a restaurant talking.

"He then went 'Woohoo' and ran off," said Naruto. "I'm telling you, he's weirder than ever." Hinata nodded in agreement.

"Whatever," said Sasuke. He then noticed Neji and Tenten running towards them. "Look, here comes Tenten and Neji."

The two stopped in front of their table panting. The other four were slightly puzzled on why they were running. Tenten and Neji then recomposed themselves and Tenten started talking.

"You guys, Shino turned into Lee. He was ranting on about Youth when we were making out, err, I mean training." The other four didn't care that they were making out though. Naruto then turned to Sasuke and Sakura, who were sitting next to each other.

"I told you he was weirder than usual."

"Wait, he turned into another Lee? He didn't say anything about youth when he came to us?" said Hinata. She wasn't nervous since she and Naruto said their feelings about each other. (I think I said that before, but just incase.)

"Well, he must've met up with Lee and Gai after you two," said Neji entering the conversation. They all nodded in agreement. Just then, Shino came out of nowhere with a basket of tomatoes for Sasuke and a basket of strawberries for Sakura.

"HI THERE MY YOUTHFUL FRIENDS! I BROUGHT PRESENTS FOR MY FRIENDS!" Shino gave Sakura the strawberries and Sasuke the tomatoes. "I'M OFF MY YOUTHFUL FRIENDS!" he then ran off to God knows where. After a period of silence, Sakura spoke up breaking the silence.

"You're right. He is weirder than usual." She took a strawberry and ate it. "But these strawberries are delicious." She took another one and plopped it into her mouth. (they didn't have the green leaves at the top.)

"I don't care how he is," said Sasuke. "As long as he gives me tomatoes, he's good enough for me as a friend." He then took a bite from a tomato.

Sino was running like a madman yelling something about youth. Everyone who saw him instantly became scared. Soon, Shino found Shikamaru and Ino holding hands, laying down, and looking at the clouds. Shino came up to the unsuspecting couple. A shadow then blocked their view.

"HOW ARE YOU MY YOUTHFUL FRIENDS?"

"AAAHH! SHINO. Phew you scared me," said Ino relaxing a bit. She then noticed the green suit. "Uhhhm. Shino, what's with the jumpsuit?"

"IT WAS A YOUTFUL GIFT FROM GAI-SENSEI AND LEE! I HAVE NO TIME TO SPARE! I HAVE TO SPREAD WORD ABOUT YOUTH AND ALL IT'S GLORY!"

At this point, Shikamaru and Ino were scared. They couldn't run away because Lee was faster than them and could catch them easily. Shikamaru then noticed Chouji walking by.

"Hey Chouji!" yelled Shikamaru. Shino didn't notice Shikamaru talking. "Can you get Shino away from us?"

Chouji nodded and did some seals. He then turned into a big ball and knocked Shino away to another part of town. Chouji went back to normal size. "Why was Shino in a green suit?" Ino and Shikamaru just shrugged. Chouji then left and Ino and Shikamaru then went back to what they were doing.

On another part of town, Kiba and Akamaru were sleeping under a tree next to a river. Shino then came down from the sky screaming "YOOOOUUUTH!" and made a splash landing into the river and drenching Kiba and Akamaru. The two then woke up angry and wet.

"grrr. OKAY, WHO'S THE WISE GUY GETTING US WET?"

"Bark. Grrr." Said Akamaru in agreement with anger.

Kiba then noticed something rising from the water. He went to the edge to get a closer looking. The thing rose up to show Shino in a green jumpsuit.

"S-s-s-shino. What are you doing in that thing?"

"Bark!"

"MY YOUTHFUL COMRADE AND EX-TEAMATE KIBA!" he ran up to Kiba and shook his hand. "HOW ARE YOU ON THIS YOUTHFUL DAY!"

"uuuhhh, fine?" said Kiba. Akamaru stayed on alert, just incase.

"GOOD! NOW I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU!" Shino took out another jumpsuit, except it was in red. "IT SHOULD LOOK GOOD ON YOUR YOUTHFULL BODY!"

Kiba's jaw dropped through the ground all the way to the other side of the earth, wherever it is there. "Shino, what the hell is that?"

"A JUMPSUIT FROM GAI-SENSEI AND LEE!"

"uhhhh." Kiba's eyes were just staring at the hideous thing. "uhhhhhh. AKAMARU!"

Akamaru charged the bug user and tackled him to the ground. When Shino was going down, his head hit a giant rock, or stone, and it almost knocked him out (almost).

"Whoa, Shino, you okay?" Kiba and Akamaru ran up to Shino to find a giant bump on the back of his head.

"Yeah, I'm fine, except for a headache." He got up and brushed himself off. "Why?"

"Oh. No reason. Heh Heh," Kiba said with a fake smile.

Shino said "hmph" and walked away. Kiba can see the giant bump on the back of his head and tried to stop himself from laughing until he was out of sight. When he was, Kiba laughed his ass off. Akamaru just stared at Kiba with a confused expression.

While Shino was walking, he noticed that his bugs were getting somewhat weak. It was because of the spandex suit. He got home and changed. He left to meet up with the rest of the gang.

"Hey Shino. What happened to youth?" asked Naruto.

"What are you talking about?" asked Shino.

"You were wearing a spandex suit like Lee and Gai, who are nowhere to be found thank god, and talking about youth," said Sakura.

"In don't know what you're talking about," replied Shino. Everyone shrugged and they all just forgot about it and lived their lives normally, until, Lee showed up.

"HELLO THERE, MY YOUTHFUL FRIENDS! HOW'S THE SUIT GOING FOR YOU SHINO MY YOUTHFUL COMPANION?" said Lee.

"Lee, you gave me that?"

"YES, SO DID GAI-SENSEI!"

"Lee, you have til three ti get out of my face. One… Two…" Lee ran away as fast as he could and was not seen for a week.

----------------------------End Sub-Story-------------------------

"Well, that was, interesting…" said Nagoya.

"Meh. Stranger things have happened." Said Kiba. Everyone else nodded and said yeah or yup in agreement.

"Well then, anyone next?" silence was among the crowed. "Well, as long as we're waiting." Nagoya took out an Icha Icha book.

"Sigh. All the men are reading the Icha Icha book," said Ino. The girls nodded.

"Hey, it's an interesting book," replied Naruto. "Besides, we get experience for later stuff, if you know what I mean." This caused Hinata to blush and Sakura to smack Naruto on the head. "Ow."

------------------------------------------Pelvic Thrust!---------------------------------------------

LHJ: Done! Finally, I can read other fanfics now.

Evil Hinata: (pinches Naruto's ass)

Naruto: Whoa, Hinata! What're you doing?

Normal Hinata: Huh? What're y-you talking about Naruto?

Naruto: you pinched my butt.

Normal Hinata: No I didn't.

Evil Hinata: (pinches LHJ's butt)

LHJ: whoa. Who pinched my butt.

Evil Hinata: IT WAS I! KYA KYA KYAKYA!

Naruto: sigh. Hinata.

Normal Hinata: got it. (Shoves evil Hinata into a portal into a parallel universe.) done.

LHJ: okay. Well, Review people. I love them like I love sushi or chocolate.

Naruto: you used the most amount of capitals I've ever seen.

LHJ: yeah, I know.


	10. Lee, Drugs, and Makeout Sessions

LHJ: yeah another chapter. Sorry for the lateness but I've been super busy. Now I have to do stupid homework, which I've been laying off for the entire summer cause I'm lazy like that and I hate the books the school makes us read. THEY ALL SUCK AND THEY MAKE US READ IT! I wish Icha Icha Paradise was a real book and the school would make us read it. Yeah. Oh well. As Shikamaru would say, how troublesome. Well, time for some random moments.

Sakura, Hinata, Ino, and Tenten: (all running away from their boyfriends with their clothes in their hand. They're also saying what their underwear looks like…)

Sakura: Sasuke wears tomato boxers!

Hinata: Naruto wears Ramen noodle boxers!

Ino: Shikamaru wears heart boxers!

Tenten: Neji wears whitie tighties!

(The boys of the girlfriends come running and stop to ask LHJ something)

Sasuke, Naruto, Shikamaru, and Neji: WHERE'D THEY GO!

LHJ: **MY EYES! THEY BURN! HELP ME LORD JESUS ALMIGHTY**! (splashes holy water onto myself) **AAAAAAAHHHHH! IT BURNS! SATAN HAS CONSUMED ME!**

(the boys cover themselves.)

Naruto: Where did they go! Dattebayo!

(The girls run past them)

The boys: **AFTER THEM**!

(The girls run into a hallway full of doors leading to different places and they enter a random one. The boys enter same hallway and enter a random one also. Now imagine one of those scenes where people exit from one door and enter another. Keep this going for a few minutes with funny chase music going throughout the scene. Put a chicken, Naruto running into Hinata once, Sasuke running into Orochimaru and running away from him with Orochimaru saying "I WANT YOUR BABIES!", a Dodge Viper, Kakashi coming from one door and going to another one with Icha Icha Paradise, Pikachu, Pee Wee Herman, a pedophile Orochimaru won't work, and James bond rolling out a room and sneakily enter another. If you understand what I mean and can do it right, you should end up with something funny yet scary The girls and boys bumped into each other and the boys got their clothes back)

Sasuke: WHAT WAS THAT FOR!

Sakura: we were curious…

Ino: Now we learned something about Sasuke huh Sakura-chan? (winks)

Sakura: Urk! (does Hinata's finger thing)

Naruto: Hey, I actually beat Sasuke in something!

Sasuke: (blushes) shut up dobe.

Naruto: I wouldn't say that if I were you.

Sasuke: grr.

Hinata: Looks like I picked a winner!

Ino: Looks like it. Congrats…

Naruto Hehe!

LHJ: OO. uuuhhh, yeah. Good for you Hinata… Onto… the …. Story…..

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto. Oh and neither does LHJ.

--------------------------------------------------------------uuuuhhhhhhhhh------------------------

Before I start the story, someone slap me. I just wrote this and I freaked myself out. Anyways.

----------------------------------------heh. Naruto wins.-------------------------------------------

No recap.

"Hey, does this thing play actual shows?" asked a bored Naruto.

"Yeah, it should," Nagoya then did some stuff and managed to get some channels on the thing. It was showing some explicit stuff that would change the rating of this fanfic. "Hey, Icha Icha Paradise the movie is on TV now." All the males weren't interested.

"Seen it!"

"When!" asked Ino.

"When it was in theaters," said Naruto.

"Well, we're officially bored. No one has any questions and we can't do much in here," said a bored Shikamaru.

"Well, I'll be researching in my office. If anyone has a question, feel free to ask the thing." Nagoya then went into his office and, well, started researching.

"Uuh, wanna play truth or dare?" asked Naruto.

"Nah. Not too interesting anymore. Besides, the last time we played, Lee was in the hospital, Shino was crying, Ino was heartbroken, and Akamaru attacked Sasuke," said Sakura.

"Oh yeah. How about duck, duck, goose?" said Naruto.

"NO!"

"Uhhh, thumb war tournament?"

"I think I broke my thumb from the last one," said Tenten.

"uuuuuUUGH! I only have strip poker left in my idea section." Naruto then fell back. Everyone else then said "why not" and got in a circle. Naruto then got up, got some cards, and became giddy. "All right, 5 card draw, bluffs are OBVIOUSLY allowed, and we'll do elimination style, as in once everyone but one person gets fully naked, the game will end there." (I know that's not how you really play, I think, but it doesn't matter)

Because of my incredible laziness to write descriptions like these, I'll just skip to the last two people. It was Ino in her bra and panties and Neji, who was only shirtless and no headband, that was left. Yeah, Neji was **THAT GOOD. **Everyone else was naked, covering themselves or hugging each other, and shivering.

'Wow, he's real good. But with a flush like this, I'm sure to win this round.' Ino thought. She then revealed her hand, which were two kings and two queens and an Ace. "HA! Try to beat that!" Neji then revealed a 10, Jack, Queen, King, and an Ace, which were all spades. "No!" she yelled.

"Bra goes off Ino," said Neji. I won't go any further and say that Ino managed to win with only her panties off. Yes, by some twist of fate. Neji lost. "How could I lose! I'm always lucky at poker!"

"Well, you were wrong mister," said Ino with a wink. Everyone then got his or her clothes back on. Then, they were bored again.

"What should we do?" asked Lee without enthusiasm.

"I dunno," replied Kiba.

"Well, we better think of something to do quickly. Neji and Tenten are all over each other now," said Shino. Behind him, Neji and Tenten were making out, but they were really crazy about it. Seriously, they were like two fierce tigers making love or something similar.

"Uhh, Hinata?" asked Naruto. She turned around to face Naruto.

"Ye mmph." She was interrupted by Naruto kissing Hinata. They both soon started doing the same thing Neji and Tenten were doing. Soon, Sasuke and Sakura were doing the same thing along with Ino and Shikamaru. Chouji started choking on his chips and Shino slapped his back to get the chips out of him.

"Get a room! All of ya!" yelled Kiba. None of the couples listened. Lee decided to ask a question for the machine. He just went up to it and asked the machine.

"What would life be like if everyone joined in on the youthful experience?" said Lee. The amazing thing was that he wasn't yelling, but it was because of the annoying noises of the make out sessions of the couples. Yeah. Something ticks Lee off. (Something has to!)

"Hey, Lee's making the machine go beep-boop-boop-bop!" yelled Chouji. "I need more lines…" Everyone sweat dropped and the people making out stopped and started watching, but they were still touchy-touchy feely-feeling each other.

"hehe sexy…" said Shino. Everyone stared at him for a few seconds. "Huh? Was I thinking out loud?"

_silence…_

Seriously, no one said a thing or even moved. It's like time stopped or that just freaked them out badly.

The machine started beeping and flashing and buzzing and burping and farting and whizzing and spinning and –gets shot- (puts down gun)

------------------------------------------Intermission no jutsu!--------------------------------------

Narrator: NOOO! HOW DARE YOU SHOOT MY SEVEN YEAR OLD SON! YOU BASTARD!

LHJ: Narrator dude, don't bring your son to do this. He screwed up my fanfic.

Narrator: DAMN YOU DEVIL PERSON! I QUIT!

LHJ: Oh snap! Uhh, want 40 bucks!

Narrator: YEAHYEAHYEAHEYYEAHYEAHYEAHYEAHYEAHYEAH

LHJ: Here. (hands the Narrator 40 bucks)

Narrator: Hey! These are deer! Not money.

LHJ: Exactly. NOW WORK DAMNIT OR ELSE I'LL SHOOT YOU!

Narrator: (gulp)

------------------------------------------Now back to the story------------------------------------

So anyways, the machine did its noises and flashes. Outside, the twelve-year-old version of the Konoha twelve were outside walking, except they all GENDER SWITCHED! They also had different personalities. But lets not go into detail or else I'll take up the whole friggin chapter. Once the machine stopped, COBRA STARSHIP APPEARED. No not really. It's not Snakes on a Plane. (Movie plug-in!) But the scene appeared.

--------------------------------------------Intermission AGAIN!-----------------------------------

LHJ: uuuhhh yeah. Snakes on a plane.

Samuel L Jackson: I'VE HAD IT WITH THESE SNAKES ON THIS PLANE!

LHJ: Damn FCC. Moving right along…

-------------------------------------------Snakes on a Plane----------------------------------------

--------------------Start Sub-Story--------------------

We see the beautiful village of Konoha being it's active and lively self. Everyone's walking around laughing, playing, and shopping. The only problem was, everyone was wearing green. You might be thinking "It's because of Lee." That's partly true. The other reason was because it was Saint Patrick's. Okay, I lied. Lee brainwashed the town and made them wear the hideous things. He wasn't Hokage though. He just brainwashed everyone that isn't important in the show/manga.

"IT IS ANOTHER BEAUTIFUL DAY!" exclaimed Lee. "LET US DO OUR MORNING JOG OF 500 LAPS AROUND OUR DEAR VILLAGE KONOHA!"

The village went "YAAAAAAAY!"

On another side of town/village/place where people lived, the Konoha twelve-minus-Lee, their sensei's, Tsunade, Jiraiya, Konohamaru, Moegi, Udon, Iruka, The Ichiraku Duo, and Shizune were all hiding in a shelter to stay away from Lee. Even Gai-sensei was with them.

"Gai, what are you doing here?" asked Kakashi. He was curious sense Lee was his student.

"Look, I'm proud of Lee and all, but this is extreme. I told him that, but He didn't listen. Even I can get tired of looking at these."

"Hmm. Interesting." Kakashi was rubbing his chin.

All of the rebels(they're rebels in my book) were forming a plan to stop Lee and his army of "Youthful" freaks/preachers/drones/monkeys. They were all out numbered and couldn't really beat the ninjas that he managed to recruit. So, they all just decided to get a really big knockout gas induced missile and hit Konoha without damaging anything.

"You sure this will work?" asked Naruto.

"Of course! What else would work?" said Sakura and Tsunade.

"Ummm… Take out Lee?" answered Tenten.

"Not actiony enough," replied Kiba. (I'm making up words now…)

"Still…" said Tenten.

"Hey, what is this 'missile' you speak of?" asked Ichiraku's owner.

"Here's a picture," Ayame gave his dad a picture of one. "It's a thing that goes boom. Bigger than an exploding tag."

"oohh," replied the old man.

"All we all set?" yelled Tsunade. Everyone replied with an enthusiastic yeah. "Okay, let's go!"

The group snuck out of Konoha without being noticed. They managed to get to NASA/Missile Control Center in about three days. They all asked to launch the missile they ordered(heh, they ordered a missile. Orochimaru should've done that.) and buy a giant telescope, for some reason. Well, Jiraiya did. (His "research") The missile launched after a countdown and they saw it hit Konoha. The gas exploded and everyone in the village got knocked out. The rebellion then headed back to Konoha by helicopter and arrived there in a matter of minutes.

"Hey, it worked!" exclaimed Naruto.

"Told ya! Now lets get the hypnotizing belt away from Lee!" ordered Tsunade. They found Lee in front of the village people(not the band) and snatched the belt away from him. They all hammered it with wooden hammers and beaten the belt to oblivion. Lee awoke from the noises they were making. The villagers also woke up.

"Hey. What are you guys doing?" He found the belt destroyed and looked at his waist. "NOOOOO! MY BEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLTTTTTT!" He then started crying like a madman or a kid getting his candy stolen from him.

"Uhh. I think that's not the only thing you have to worry about…." Said Gai. Lee then turned around and found the villagers….well……extremely….. pissed off…. "Run my student. RUN FOR YOUR YOUTH DEPENDS ON IT!"

Lee nodded and ran as fast as his weights can make him. He then decided to throw the weights back and hit the people while making her faster.

"Now what?" asked Konohamaru to the others. Moegi and Udon were making faces behind him. The others sat thinking until Kiba came up with something.

"PAAAAAAAIIIIIINTBAALLLLLLL!" All of a sudden, everyone had their guns and gear on them and they all started playing. They stopped once Chouji "accidentally" swallowed one.

------------------------End Sub-Story---------------------------

"BORING!" yelled… Kiba. (HA! Expected Naruto huh?)

"Yeah, I know," replied Lee. "It wasn't as interesting as I thought it would be…"

"Well, your question was boring," said Naruto.

"I-I agree," said Hinata quietly.

"Now what?" asked Lee. Everyone else shrugged. Neji and Tenten just started making out. Shikamaru and Ino did the same. Sasuke and Sakura started also. Naruto and Hinata just sat there blushing. They did make out before, but they were somewhere people wouldn't see them. Now, they were in the middle of the group.

"Come one! Don't be chicken!" said Kiba.

"Let your youth help you!" said Chouji…

"Hey! THAT'S MY LINE!" Yelled Lee.

"I wanted to try and see what it would be like…"

"Oh. Okay."

Naruto and Hinata looked at each other and blushed even harder. Hinata then kissed Naruto and soon became a wild make-out session. Wilder than the others.

"Damn," said Shino.

"You got that right," said Kiba. He then became sad. "I feel lonely…" He walked to corner, squatted down, and started chanting. "I wish I had Hinata. I wish I had Hinata… Actually… I wish I had a girl. I wish I had a girl." Akamaru stared at him weirdly. It's hard to tell since his eyes are closed.

"Lee, get the Kiba Treats" said Shino.

"Aye, Aye!" He ran out the door and came back ten seconds later. "Here you go sir!"

"Thank you." Shino went up to Kiba and held the Kiba Treats to his nose. Kiba sniffed it and snorted few seconds after. Kiba then went wild. "What the? Lee. This is cocaine. Not Treats."

"I thought that was sugar… Kiba Treats are practically sugar." Shino sighed and shot a tranquilizer at Kiba. He fell asleep right next to Akamaru and dreamt a peaceful dream. "Great. Now Kiba's on crack… What's next, Chouji doing marijuana?" Yup. It's never a normal day in the world of Naruto. (Dattebayo!)

-------------------------------We're done with the chapter!---------------------------------------

LHJ: (Sigh) this chapter finished. FINALLY! It took me three days for some reason. Well, actually, I barely had enough time each day. Also, since school is coming up and I have to do some stupid essays because I didn't start it… Updates will become real slow. Yup, another excuse on making slow updates. Oh and sorry again.

Naruto: sorry for what?

LHJ: sorry for this slow update and somewhat shorter chapter, or I think it's shorter.

Sakura: Have you seen Sasuke?

LHJ: Nope. Did you check the Tomato farm?

Sakura: yup.

LHJ: A ramen cup?

Sakura: yeah.

LHJ: Disneyland?

Sakura: uh-huh.

LHJ: Tsunade's office?

Sakura: (nods head as a yes)

LHJ: hmmm… your dress?

Sakura: Oh yeah. (Looks down dress.)

Chibi-Sasuke: Hi Sakura!

Sakura: Hi Sasuke! Is it warm in there?

Chibi-Sasuke: Yup!

Sakura: Good! Stay Safe!

Hinata: Dattebayo!

Naruto: (pokes fingers)

Ino: Troublesome…

Shikamaru: Let's do our hair!

Tenten: Your fate has been determined.

Neji: (twirls a kunai)

LHJ: uuuhhh. Review please?


	11. No, It's Not a SakuNaru Story

LHJ: Heh. Another chapter I feel like writing. Yay! Anyways, don't ask me what I'm smoking, cause I'm not. I'M CLEAN PEOPLE! I'M GONNA STAY CLEAN SO I CAN WRITE STORIES! BYAAAAH! Oh and thanx for the reviews. Anyways. May the randomness begin…

Naruto: I love you Hinata.

Hinata: I love you too Naruto.

(They both kiss)

LHJ: Get a frickin room…

Kiba: Dude, I'm loving this video game.

LHJ: KIBA! GET OFF MY PS2 BEFORE I RIP YOUR MANHOOD OFF.

Kiba: Nah, I'm fine.

LHJ: (gets out shotgun) Turn it off in five seconds.

Kiba: I know you're not gonna shoot me.

LHJ: (raises gun) 5…

Kiba: (pets Akamaru)

LHJ: (cocks it) 4…

Kiba: (sneezes)

LHJ: (aims it at Kiba) 3…

Kiba: (stares at LHJ)

LHJ: (puts finger on trigger) 2…

Kiba: (gulps)

LHJ: (pulls trigger ever so slightly) 1…

Kiba: okay okay okay. Don't shoot me. (turns off PS2)

LHJ: glad you can see it my way.

Kiba: (sigh) and I was doing good too…

Akamaru: poopie!

Kiba: WTF?

LHJ: (farts on Akamaru)

Kiba: HEY! ONLY I CAN DO THAT!

LHJ: too bad! I'm special!

Kiba: Damn Society…

The Sexy Girl on TV (yeah, that sexy girl): Ooooh. Longhairedjuice does not own Naruto in any way. Ooooh yeah. Mmmh. That's the spot.

LHJ: You love my backrubs. Don't ya!

The Sexy Girl on TV (yeah, that sexy girl): ooohh yeah.

LHJ: (smirks) Soo sexy

Kiba: OO

-------------------------------------------------Woot!--------------------------------------------------

_Last time, the gang was bored so they decided to play strip poker while Nagoya was in his office working on some stuff. Ino won with only her panties on. After they got dressed, the couple made out and Lee got pissed from jealousy. He asked the machine thingy a question and the machine showed its answer. Lee thought it was boring, they started making out again, and Kiba was on crack._

"Hey, the machine's broken," said Naruto. He looked at the machine and poked at it with a stick. Sakura then hit Naruto in the head.

"IDIOT. YOU ONLY POKE PEOPLE WITH A STICK! NOT- what the?" Naruto was laying on the ground unconscious. He had a bump, but that was normal. "-gasp- Oh my god. I can't believe I did that." Naruto's head was bleeding and it was bleeding fast. (Now it bleeds) Sakura was trembling. Hinata found this and questioned Sakura.

"Sakura, what did you do? YOU HURT MY NARUTO-KUN." She started crying hysterically.

"I-I-I…" She was scared of herself now. "I-I-I can't believe I-I hurt m-my friend…" Sasuke and Neji picked up Naruto.

"We have to take him to the hospital. Sakura's trembling and is useless," said Neji. Sasuke was nodding up until the useless part.

"She's just scared. She should be fine later. And she's not useless." Neji sighed.

"Let's just go." Neji just took Naruto without Sasuke. Sasuke helped a crying Hinata and a scared Sakura to the hospital. The others just followed silently to the hospital.

"Tsunade-sama! We need medical attention for Naruto! His head is bleeding pretty rapidly," said Neji to the fifth hokage. Tsunade found Naruto unconscious and bleeding.

"Oh my god. Get him to Intensive Care Unit Four. Don't forget to put a bandage on it!" Neji nodded and went to the room while putting a bandage on Naruto's head. Soon, the rest of Naruto's friends came into the hospital. Tsunade knew what they were going to say next.

"He's in Intensive Care Unit Four. You won't be able to see him for a while," said Tsunade ahead of time. The others walked there instead since they knew it was off limits and they couldn't do anything about it.

One Hour Later… 

Everyone was waiting at the front door of the Unit. Hinata stopped crying and Sakura regained her composure. They were all anxious about what's going to happen. Then, the light went off signaling that they're done with what ever they were doing. Everyone stared at the door waiting for Tsunade. She walked out few seconds after the light went out. She smiled.

"He'll be okay. He just needs his rest and his energy will be back tomorrow." Everyone breathed a smile of relief. Tsunade cleared her throat.

"Do any of you know who did this to him?" Everyone pointed at Sakura who had her head down. "Sakura! What did you do?"

"I hit him in the head after he said something stupid…" Sakura's voice was barely above a whisper, like Hinata most of the time. Sakura then kneeled and started crying.

"Sakura, when I trained you, I told you not to use your powers for fooling around or hurting your comrades," said Tsunade sternly. Sakura nodded and sniffled in reply. Tsunade was sort of upset and worried. "I'll let this slide for now though. Just be thankful Naruto isn't in any danger. Speaking of Naruto, we're going to take him to room 212. You can visit him in an hour." Tsunade then went somewhere else. The rest went to the waiting room. Sakura spoke to Hinata about something.

"Hinata, you're not mad are you?" Sakura knew that Hinata was not the type to get upset too much, but this time, it's different. Hinata gave her a small smile.

"It's okay, Sakura. It was an accident. You didn't mean to hurt him that badly or use that strength of yours." They kept walking until they got to the waiting room.

Another Hour later…They waited for a total of two hours for people who can't add… 

The Konoha nine was waiting at the entrance area/waiting area. Tsunade cam up to them and told them it was okay to visit him. They found room 212 after 10 minutes (Chouji said the room is on the third floor, but he was wrong and it took them a while. Yeah, let's go with that.) They entered and found Naruto with bandages all over his hair. (Hinata, almost fainted from seeing this.) Naruto perked up when he saw them.

"Hey guys! What's up?" He put on his trademark grin even though his head still hurt somewhat. Lee spoke up first, with his youth…

"Naruto! Has the power of youth helped you recover?" He didn't want to be loud for some reason, but it saves me from pressing the Caps Locks.

"Uhh, yeah sure." Then he noticed the sad Sakura. "Sakura-chan, what's wrong? Why are you sad?" Naruto became concerned for his kunoichi friend. Sakura was looking at the floor.

"It's just… I was mad at myself for hurting you." She sniffled and continued staring at the floor.

"Sakura-chan, It's not a big deal! I'm not hurt that badly and I'll live!" He gave her a reassuring smile. Sakura wasn't okay with it.

"It's not okay!" She yelled. Everyone was sort of shocked by this. "I almost put your life in danger and I did it by **me **hurting **you**!" Sakura took a breath of air and continued. "I could've killed you and it's **all my fault!** How come you won't get mad at me! I deserve it!" She started crying again. Naruto however, wasn't upset and had a smile.

"Sakura-chan. I'm not mad because I forgive you. (Insert appropriate music here) I don't want to get upset because I don't want to lose our friendship, or anyone else's. I told you how I grew up lonely and going through all the bad stuff. I never had any friends and, well, now I do. You guys are all special to me and I don't want to lose any of you. Even Shino." Shino looked like his normal self on the outside, but on the inside, he felt all warm. In fact, you can see a tear going down his face, but it was hard to tell. "All of you are like my family, and Hinata is my wife." Hinata, blushed madly at this. "I wouldn't want something like this to ruin anything, Sakura-chan. That's why I understand that you never meant to do this to me. It was all an accident." Sakura stopped crying, rose up from the ground, and smiled. Everyone else was touched by the speech. Even Neji felt good in the heart.

'I see where Hinata got the reassuring stuff.' Thought Sakura. 'Those two are perfect together.' She then spoke up. "You're right Naruto and thanks for forgiving me." She then gave Naruto a friendly hug, which Hinata got a little uncomfortable with, but smile nonetheless.

"Heh. No problem. Now, if you guys don't mind, that speech made me a little dizzy. Can you all leave, except Hinata-chan?" They all nodded and left. Hinata walked up to Naruto blushing. "Hinata-chan." Said Naruto quietly.

"Oh Naruto-kun." They both closed in for a kiss. Outside, everyone watched the two as they kissed. Some of them snickered, the girls giggled, and Sasuke and Neji smirked. Once they broke apart, Hinata asked a question. "Naruto-kun?"

"Yes Hinata-chan?" said Naruto.

"What did you mean by me being your wife and everyone else being a family member?" She smiled and kissed him on the cheek. Naruto grinned.

"It means you're that special to me. Does it bother you?"

"No. It means a lot to me though." They kissed **again**. "Ashiteru Naruto-kun."

"Ashiteru Hinata-chan." The others were watching still.

"AAAAWWW" went the kunoichis. The boys snickered/smirked.

"GO AWAY!" yelled Naruto in an angry yet playful tone. The others groaned.

"Fine." Then, they left to do other stuff.

"They can be annoying at stuff like these," said Naruto.

"Yeah," replied Hinata.

--------------------------end-sub-story--------------------------------

The What-if machine went out, which meant it needed to recharge. The Kunoichis besides Hinata went "AAAAAWWW" and the boys except Naruto snickered/smirked. Naruto wanted to break this up because it was annoying him.

"Well Sakura-chan, There's your answer. How do you feel?" asked Naruto. Sakura smiled.

"I feel satisfied." She also had a satisfied smile. Ino then spoke up.

"What kind of question is 'What if my strength got the best of me?" said Ino with an annoyed tone. Sakura then put on an annoyed face.

"It's a question that would ready me for anything, unlike yours which broke your boyfriend's heart!" yelled Sakura.

"Well, at least I fixed it! Right Shika-kun?" yelled Ino. Shikamaru didn't really care anymore.

"Mendokuse na," said Shikamaru. "As long as we're together again, I don't really care what happened as long as it doesn't happen again." Ino nodded in agreement.

"Makes sense to me."

"Whatever…" said Sakura.

Naruto noticed that the What-if machine was acting a little different. He decided to get a stick and poke it, and he just did that. "Hey, the machine's broken." Sakura saw Naruto poking the machine with the stick and remembered what happened.

'Deija-vu…' thought Sakura. He walked up to Naruto. "I think the machine needs to recharge. It did just do like three what-if questions."

"Oh yeah, I remember now," said Naruto. He then joined Hinata talking with Neji and Tenten. Sakura then walked up to Sasuke and did the 'Guess who," thing, which Sasuke purposely made a mistake on with a random fangirl from his mail. Chouji found something weird, and it surprised him.

"Oh. My. God." His eyes water a bit. "It's so beautiful! I've never seen one like this before!" He then cried in happiness. Ino then went up to Chouji to see what he was talking about. She then became puzzled.

"uuuhhh, Chouji, is that a…."

----------------------------------------------------Cliffhanger no jutsu!-------------------------------------------------

LHJ: Ha! Cliffhanger! I am unpredictable! BYAAAAH!

Sasuke: actually, I knew something like this would happen.

LHJ and Sasuke: No you didn't.

Sasuke: See?

LHJ and Sasuke: shut up. It was just a coincidence.

Sasuke: (smirks)

LHJ: grrrrr.

LHJ and Sasuke: DAMN YOU!

Sasuke: just admit it. You're more predictable than Naruto.

Naruto: HEY! Shut up!

Sasuke: dobe.

Naruto: At least I can beat you at man stuff.

LHJ: that sounds scary…

Sasuke: ugh. Anyways, try not to be too predictable.

LHJ: Gaaaaah. Whatever. Anyways, review people! There are precious!

LHJ and Sasuke: It's not hard people!

LHJ: I hate you right now.

Sasuke: (smirks)


	12. This is Another Chapter I Wrote

LHJ: New chapter. Same old same old. Thanx for the reviews though. I have more than 50 now! Yay! I'm happy, yet tired. Also, school's almost starting for me, so you know what might happen.

Tenten: Neji-kun.

Neji: Yes Tenten-chan? (eyes widen)

Tenten: Does this mini skirt look good?

Neji: (face reddens and gets a bloody nose) (_nice legs). _Uhh yeah. Since when did you wear skirts?

Tenten: Sakura told me I should wear them. It feels somewhat comfortable. (giggles)

Neji: (speechless)

Tenten: Neji-kun?

Neji: (faints)

(giggles)

LHJ: Hey guys. Whoa, Tenten, when did you wear skirts? And what's with Neji.

Tenten: He's just surprised and shocked. It was Sakura's plan to get Neji like this. How do my legs look.

LHJ: (blushes) uuuhhh. Are you going to be offended if I tell you.

Tenten: I don't mind.

LHJ: oh. They look (gulp) sexy.

Tenten: (giggles) thank you.

Neji: (wakes up) ugh. What the?

Tenten: Let's go Neji-kun.

Neji: where?

Tenten: you'll see.

LHJ: …

Lee: My teammates are about to perform youthful actions in love and sex! I feel proud for them!

LHJ: Lee… you're scaring me…

Lee: It is not youthful to be scared by my speeches Juice-san!

LHJ: Whatever.

My Flame of Youth: Longhairedjuice does not own Naruto in any way. If he did, it would fry everyone's brains into mush.

LHJ: Yayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayaya!

----------------------------------------------------------Youth----------------------------------------------------

Let's see what Chouji's beautiful thing is. I'll give you five seconds.

5…

4…

3…

2…

1…

It is… a 20x20 hamburger from In-n-Out. (For those of you that don't in the West Coast of the United States, In-n-Out is a hamburger chain that only exists in the West Coast like California and Nevada. Also, If you don't know what a 20x20 is, it's a hamburger that has 20 patties and 20 slices of cheese on it all in one order. I never had one, but I've seen pictures. There are also different variations of it, like 4x4, 10x10, or 100x100.) There was also a half-a-gallon of fries, yakiniku grill and the meat for it, Ichiraku's ramen, and different types of Soda.

"I've been blessed by kami-sama!" exclaimed Chouji.

"How can you eat that?" asked Ino. Chouji looked at her weirdly.

"How can you **not** eat? It is one of the best things that's happened to me in this whole fanfic. I've got to go thank the author." Chouji then disappeared somewhere.

"What the hell? Where did Chouji go to?" asked Ino to no one in particular.

-----------------------------------------------------Back in the real world-----------------------------------------------

Chouji: (tackles LHJ) YOU ARE THE BEST!

LHJ: Ow… (gets back up with a few broken bones) uhh thanks?

Chouji: No you're welcome! Bye! (goes back into the fanfic)

LHJ: That was weird…

------------------------------------------------------Now with the story--------------------------------------------------

Chouji comes back into the Lab from a very strange place. Ino ran up to him and questioned him.

"Chouji, where did you go?"

"I went to thank someone," said Chouji.

"O…kay." She then went to Shikamaru and spanked him. (Me: OO, Ino: Shikamaru: OO Chouji: Chips!)

_Let's go to another group… How about Sasuke and Sakura?_

"Sasuke-kun?"

"hm?"

"What's this?"

"A potion, I guess."

"Oh." She then reads the label. (She should've don that in the first place)"Sex Amplifier. Makes you sex appeal better to the person you admire. COMPLETED." She grew a smirk and drank half the bottle. She then had a tingling and her boobs grew a few bra sizes, her ass became somewhat bigger, and eyes had a sexy look in them. She went to Sasuke in a sexy way.

"Oh, Sasuke-_kun_."

"What is it… Sa…ku…ra…chan…" Sasuke was surprised by her look. His jaw dropped, eyes had a dreamy look in them, and his nose bled slightly.

"Like my look?" She winked and this made Sasuke faint from… a bloody nose. I don't know, and I don't care about Sasuke right now. Sakura then carried Sasuke into a closet with an evil smile and… well, they did stuff.

_Um… Let's take a look at Neji and Tenten._

"AAAAAAAAHHHHH!" yelled Neji. Apparently, Tenten activated his curse mark. (she has power over her man!)

"I have power over my man!" exclaimed Tenten. Yes, it's Tenten. Not Hinata, but Tenten. "I'll stop now." She stopped her Chakra from powering the curse mark.

"Why Tenten. Why?" said Neji

"Cause I can." Replied Tenten. Lee decided to make a visit to the two.

"Hi there my youthful friends. What are you two lovebirds with youth doing?" asked Lee.

"I'm torturing Neji-kun with the caged bird seal." She smiled after she said that.

"How did you learn that?"

"Hinata."

"Oh. May I learn it?"

"Of course!" Tenten then showed him Lee the hand signs and other details I'm not sure about while Neji just sat there groggily because of the damage done to his brain. Once he managed to come back to normal, Lee did the hand signs and activated the curse mark and Neji started screaming really loud again. No else seemed to care though. After a minute of pain for Neji, Lee stopped and left Neji alone with Tenten. Neji got up after recovering and got angry.

"I thought you said you loved me."

"I do Neji-kun. I just wanted to have some fun for myself."

"Tenten, the curse mark is not a toy. It is a weapon for the Hyuuga Main Branch and it is not used for entertainment for other people. Besides, you don't know how much it hurts."

"Oh… I'm sorry." She hung her head down, went up to Neji, and leaned her head onto his body crying softly, realizing what she did to Neji. "I won't do it again, I promise, unless I think you **really** deserve it, like you go berserk or something."

"It's okay Tenten. I forgive you. And you're right. You are only supposed to use it when I go crazy." They kissed for a brief moment and just held each other. That does it for those two.

_Now, we go to Naruto and Hinata._

"Naruto-kun, what do you think this is?" She pointed to a pair of binoculars embedded into some sort of machine.

"I dunno. Why don't you look inside Hina-chan," said Naruto. Hinata blushed at another nickname he gave her and looked into the binoculars.

_Inside, Hinata could see an almost dead Naruto lying in a pool of his own blood on his side. There were kunais and shurikens all over his back, one embedded into his heart and what seemed to be people laughing at him and calling him 'weak', or 'kyuubi brat' and other names. Naruto was about to die when he called out Hinata's name in need. Then the thing gets cut off._

Outside, Hinata screamed, broke away from the machine, and went into a fetal position while sobbing and calling Naruto's name. Naruto bent down to comfort the heiress in distress.

"Hinata-chan, what's wrong? What did you see?"

"I… -sob-…saw you… in-sob-…a pool…-sob-…of you…own…-sob-blood, dying." Naruto picked her up and hugged her making Hinata cry into Naruto's chest. She started speaking again, but it came out muffled. "Naruto-kun, it was horrible! –sob- Everyone was laughing at you and calling names. There were kunai and…-sob- and shuriken all over your body!" She continued crying while Naruto was patting her back and comforting her.

"Hinata-chan, I promise that I will always be by your side. I'll never leave you as long as you do the same." Hinata looked up and smiled slightly with a blush. She nodded in agreement and hugged him. "Maybe I'll take a look." He just did that and he gasped at what he saw.

_Inside, there was Ichiraku Ramen out of business and a tombstone of Hinata Hyuuga. There was also a sign that said 'there is no more ramen in the world.' Then he can see people calling him names like his childhood. Things get cut off at this point._

Outside, Naruto did the same thing as Hinata did, but instead of crying, he rocked around while in fetal position and kept repeating, "Hinata is alive, there is ramen in the world, and people don't call me names that much." Hinata then understood what he probably saw and comforted him.

"Don't worry Naruto-kun, that t-thing is like the nightmare m-machine or something. Don't b-believe what it says Naruto-kun." She said with a smile and her eyes closed in a loving way. Naruto then looked up and grinned his trademark grin.

"You're right Hinata. That thing tells us bad stuff that we shouldn't believe. I love you" (audience: Awwww)

"I love you too, Naruto-kun." They were about to kiss, but Naruto instead tackled her and started tickling her to hear her laugh.

"Naruto-kun, -giggle- stop! –giggle-"

"Why should I? I love to hear you laugh!"

"Please-giggle- I won't be able to –giggle- breathe!"

"Okay." He stopped tickling. Hinata started breathing heavier.

"Thank you Naruto-kun" Once Hinata stopped panting, Naruto started kissing her and it became a make-out session. (audience: whooooo!)

_Let's go to the lonely boys…_

Kiba, Lee, and Shino, (remember, Chouji's too busy eating) were all just sitting around bored, jealous, or blah. Akamaru, however, was sleeping. Yeah, they're uninteresting right now. (rejects)

_Let's see what Gaara is doing…_

"Kazekage-sama! You can't be serious!" said some random sand ninja. It was a mission that he had to accept though. Gaara just had his serious face on.

"If you don't do this mission, you will be sent back to a student and start over from the beginning." Now the villager had no choice but to accept it.

"Okay, I will do this then." The sand ninja exited out of his office and went to fight a sand creature and bring back its corpse. Once he did, barely surviving of course, he went to the kazekage and gave it to him. The ninja, however, blacked out in the office and Gaara just threw his body out the window. Temari decided to comment on his actions.

"Gaara, you can't just throw bodies out the window. People will think badly of you."

"There was a man waiting for the body down there to take to the hospital. Stop your bitching." Gaara exited the office and went to his secret room while carrying the creature's corpse. He locked the door, leaned on it, and smirked. He started a bonfire inside and put the corpse into the flames, and recited, "Oh kami-sama, take this sacrifice and make my village into a Las Vegas!" Once he stopped, Gaara just stood there waiting for something to happen. He waited for five minutes and nothing happened. "Crap, that was just a waste of time." He went to his bedroom to put on more make-up for no reason.

-------------------------------------------End of this Chapter---------------------------------------

LHJ: I'm done and I'm not writing anymore until I feel like it again. Goodbye!

Shino: what about your idea for a new fic?

LHJ: Oh yeah. I'm thinking of writing a new NaruHina fic that involves their past. The details are in my profile and I'm too lazy to write the details here. Don't forget to review people!

Ino: Aren't you gonna write anymore for this chapter?

LHJ: Nope.

Ino: why?

LHJ: Too troublesome.

Shikamaru: Hey, that's my line!

LHJ: so, it's not copyrighted.

Shikamaru: Oh yeah.

LHJ: Well, review people! Dattebayo!

Naruto: How come in the English version, it's believe it?

LHJ: cause dattebayo and believe it are pretty similar yet somewhat different.

Naruto: ooooohhhh.

LHJ: Yup.


	13. What is Tenten's Last Name Anyways?

LHJ: I guess no one wants me to write the story besides **one **person. I need six more PMs and 75 reviews for this story. I won't write it if no those conditions aren't met. Well, onto the story.

Choji: I'm hungry.

LHJ: look in the kitchen.

Choji: I already did. There was nothing I wanted in there without cooking for a long time.

LHJ: Well, too bad.

Choji: Order pizza.

LHJ: No.

Choji: do it.

LHJ: No

Choji: DO IT OR ELSE!

LHJ: NOOOOO

Choji. NOOOWWW!

LHJ: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Choji: (starts crying)

LHJ: baby.

Choji. Why are you so mean?

LHJ: Cause you're are a baby and you eat too much.

Choji: Sigh.

LHJ: ha.

Choji: (sees an imaginary hamburger going by and thinks it's real) Burger! (Burger runs through a wall with Chouji following. Chouji hits the wall) heh heh hee. (gets knocked out)

LHJ: Baka.

The Guys in White: Is there a Choji Akimichi in this house?

LHJ: (sighs and points to where he is)

The Guys in White: (puts Choji in a straight jacket and put him in the cuckoo-cuckoo van.)

LHJ: Uhhh, I do not own Naruto in anyway and any of the characters. If I did… I'm not sure what would happen.

------------------------------------------(insert random phrase here)------------------------------------------------

_Stuff happened in the last chapter, but it had nothing to do in the plot or anything too important. So let's see what going on now_.

"Shikamaru, what do you mean you won't ask a question?" said Ino who was somewhat confused. Shikamaru sighed.

"How troublesome." Ino glared at him. "One, I don't have any questions that come up to mind. Two, It's troublesome. And three, I don't want it to be boring, like Lee's." Ino then, thought about it for a second.

"Okay, I won't force you to ask then," said Ino.

'Wow, the few times she doesn't force me to do anything,' thought Shikamaru.

"So Shikamaru's not gonna ask any questions huh?" asked Sakura. Ino nodded in a 'yes'. The machine then just dinged saying that it's ready to do the what-ifs again.

"Tenten, what's your question?" asked Neji. Tenten thought for a while before speaking.

"Well, what-if people found out my last name? It's something that sometimes keeps me up at night and I don't want people making fun of it." They all started wondering what her last name is, besides Neji. He's the only one of the group that knows her last name.

The machine started doing its usual stuff. Outside, cars were going around drifting until one of the cars crashed, made a giant explosion, and a corpse hit the window and slid down. The spectators were clapping and cheering and the thought-to-be-dead body went up and started bowing like he won the gold medal in the Olympics. Then the machine stopped and started showing its prediction.

-------------------------------Start Sub-Story------------------------------------

In a dango (a type of Japanese sweet) shop in Konoha, all of the couples in the Konoha group were hanging out and having a good time. Tenten was thinking about a few things and was in a trance. Neji noticed this and waved a hand in her face.

"Tenten. Hello. Are you okay?" Tenten snapped out of her trance.

"Oh yeah, I'm fine. Just thinking about a few things. Personal things that I don't want to talk about." Neji nodded and took a sip of tea. What Tenten was thinking about was her last name. She was thinking that she should tell the others, even though she told Neji to keep it a secret. Neji was the only on in the group to know what it is. She thought about the outcome of her telling her last name. She decided to take a risk and tell them.

"So that's how Sakura, Sasuke, and I defeated Kakashi in card-house building contest," said Naruto proudly. He then held Hinata's shoulder while Sasuke and Sakura reminisced about it. Neji sat there staring at Naruto weirdly and Ino and Shikamaru weren't really paying attention, but they heard card-house, Sasuke, Sakura, and Naruto. Tenten then decided to step into the conversation.

"Uhm. Guys. I decided to tell you all my last name." Everyone stared at her while Naruto, Neji, and Sasuke spit out the tea they were drinking and Ino almost chocked on the dango. (It's that surprising) Once everyone recovered, Tenten continued. "My last name is insert last name here." Everyone was shocked, besides Neji, who was just eating some dango. Ino was the first to speak up.

"Wow, interesting. I never would've guessed it's insert last name here. Right guys?" She turned her head to the boys. The boys just sat there staring at Tenten. All of a sudden, they shot up from their seats and ran out of the shop screaming 'we're not worthy!' The girl's and Neji got up from their seats and went to get them.

"Tenten, why is insert last name here a big deal?" asked Ino.

"Who knows? Neji, for some reason, was cool about it. Though, he did call me some formal names for a while, but he never went crazy."

"I guess insert last name here is a big deal to them," said Sakura.

"Let's just find them b-before they get into trouble," said Hinata a little above a whisper. The others nodded and went their separate ways. Tenten and Neji, however, just went to the training grounds and do some 'training'.

Hinata went to the usual places where he usually hangs out, but he wasn't at any of the places. The Hokage monument, Ichiraku's, Hokage's building, and his house. She went to one final place, which was the training grounds, but to her bad luck, no one was there. She sighed and decided to take a quick break to think a little bit. She decided to sit on the ground and sighed.

'Where is Naruto-kun? He's not anywhere I normally find him. I guess the word insert last name here is something that ticks them off,' She thought. She got up from where she was and went off to find the Kyuubi container.

Sakura was having the same luck as Hinata. She was having a harder time than Hinata trying to find Sasuke, mainly because his hang out areas weren't as spread out as Naruto's. He wasn't a person to blend into the crowd though.

Ino was having a better time though. Ino would find him, but he would get away though. Apparently, Shikamaru's smartness made his get away easier. He would somehow trick her every time and run off like he just drank 20 glasses of coffee. Ino, well, was getting angrier every time he ran off. Than meant for every time he ran off, he would get one bonk on the head.

Neji and Tenten were having a real good time, better than the other three combined. Their 'training' is going better than the search. Yeah. Let's go back to Hinata.

Hinata was carrying a passed out Naruto to his house. Apparently he had too much to drink.

_Flashback Time!_

_Hinata was jumping from rooftop to rooftop with her byakugan activated. That way, she can see Naruto's chakra easier, since it the kyuubi's chakra was easy to see. After about five minutes, she found some red-orange chakra and noticed it was Naruto. She jumped in front Naruto and noticed that he had a slight blush on his cheeks and had a funny smile. Funnier than usual._

"_Naruto-kun, w-what happened?" asked Hinata._

"_Heeeeeyy! Hiinata! –hic- wassup? How's life huh?-hic-"_

"_Naruto-kun, are you drunk?"_

"_Uuuh, I duuno. Iiis that a trick question?"_

"_You're only seventeen! How come you're drinking?"_

"_Drinking? I wasn't drinking. I was um –hic-… I forget. HAHA!" Naruto started laughing hysterically while hiccupping at the same time._

"_Naruto…"_

"_Hinata-chan. I love you sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo much, I want to do you right now." He then lifted up her shirt up to her stomach but it was swatted away by Hinata before he could do anything. "Hinata, you do that? –hic-"_

"_Naruto-kun, I'm too young…" she shifted away from his reach, "besides, you'll get in trouble."_

"_Ahhhh, your dad's nothing. Heee's liiike a monkey or something. Oh god I'm so wasted." He chuckled a bit. "Let's go to my plaaaaace and…-thud-" Naruto fainted. Hinata sweat dropped._

"_Sigh. That was hard enough and now I have to carry him home."_

_End Flashback_

Hinata was walking until she met up with Ino and Sakura dragging their respective boyfriends. "Hey. What happened to Sasuke-san and Shikamaru?" asked Hinata.

"Well, Sasuke was at the hospital and fell asleep from sleeping gas," said Sakura.

"And Shika-kun ran into a pole and bumped his head into it and got knocked out," said Ino. "What happened to Naruto?"

"He got drunk…" said Hinata. Ino and Sakura didn't need more. She then noticed Tenten and Neji were missing. "Where's Neji-nii-san and Tenten insert last name here?" The others then looked around and said at the same time, "Yeah, where are they? I haven't bumped into them yet." They went to the training grounds, which weren't too far away.

"I have a feeling that they are here somewhere," said Hinata. She activated her byakugan and went farther into the training forest. There other two followed while carrying their boyfriends.

"Neji-kun, –pant- that was amazing," said Tenten, "I've never –pant- experienced something like that."

"Yeah. That was –pant- fun. We should do it again sometime." Neji then went over to get their equipment and went back to Tenten. Shortly, The others found them and was somewhat pissed.

"What were you doing Neji-nii-san?" asked Hinata.

"Oh. We were playing extreme racquetball. It's racquetball, except you use tennis balls and tennis racquets. (I made it up) It's fun to play and challenging," said Tenten. She picked up her racquet and started bouncing a tennis ball on it. Ino nodded while rubbing her chin in interest.

"Hmm, sounds interesting. I should play it sometime," said Ino. She then put on an annoyed look. "But why did you guys play when we were finding out boyfriends?"

"We figured you guys should do it, since they **are** your boys," replied Tenten. Neji nodded in agreement. Ino, Sakura, and Hinata were just annoyed. Just then, they boys stirred and woke up in the hands of their girls. They were all surprised. (Well, the boys were) Sasuke was the first to speak up.

"Hey, what am I doing in your arms? And why does my head hurt?" Sasuke groaned and held his head, not caring that Sakura was holding him.

"Yeah, same here. My head hurts too. Ugh, how troublesome." Said, well, you know.

"Ow, me too." Said Naruto. Hinata was blushing that he was now holding Naruto on the ass, but Naruto didn't notice. He was too busy with his headache.

"Well, you had too much sleeping gas," said Sakura. (I don't know if too much sleeping gas can also give you headaches, but whatever.)

"And you head your head on a pole, Shika-kun," said Ino.

"And you were drinking and became drunk," said Hinata. Naruto then had a sick look on his face.

"That explains why I feel like throwing up…" He then got out of Hinata's arms and threw up in some bushes near by. Hinata went to his side to comfort him and make him feel better. Once he finished a round, Hinata gave Naruto some medicine. Everyone else just stared at Naruto. Sasuke then spoke up, again.

"Then, what happened that led us to this thing?" Sakura answered

"Well, after Tenten said insert last name here…" She covered her mouth and said crap, but no one heard. The boys, however, were acting like them selves, besides Naruto who was having a hangover that came quickly.

"I guess it only happens once. Thank kami-sama," said Ino.

"Well, now what?" said Naruto after recovering from his hangover. Apparently, the Kyuubi's chakra helped things get better for him, along with the medicine.

"Uhh, extreme racquetball anyone?" asked Tenten.

----------------------End Sub-story------------------------

Everyone clapped at the ending, signaling that they were satisfied. Tenten got up from where she sat and bowed a bit, then sat back down. Then, things went silent.

"Tenten, is your last name really insert last name here?" asked Kiba.

"No actually it's insert some other last name here." Tenten then clamped her mouth with her hand. It was too late though. Everyone besides the kunoichis and Neji went crazy and went on a rampage around Konoha. The people unaffected sighed and head out the door to retrieve them.

----------------------------------------------------------Blah--------------------------------------------------------

LHJ: Well, there you go. All that's left is Naruto, I think. Lets see, we did Sasuke, Hinata, Neji, Ino, Sakura, Lee, Shino, Chouji, Kiba, Tenten, and Shikamaru who skipped. I think that's all of them.

Gaara: what about me?

LHJ: uhh. I gave you girls. What else do you want from me?

Gaara: I want a chapter where I get to ask a what-if question.

LHJ: well, maybe. If I'm nice.

Gaara: (glares)

LHJ: Don't give me that look mister.

Gaara: (glares harder, if possible)

LHJ: Gaara.

Gaara: (doesn't move)

LHJ: That's it. (picks up a bat out of nowhere) GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!

Gaara: AAAAHHHH. (runs away) BAT'S SCARE ME! WITH THEIR WINGS AND THEIR EYES AND OOHH YOU KNOW.

LHJ: finally. Anyways. Review and such! Don't forget about the New fanfic and yadda yadda yadda.


	14. ZOMG IM TOO LAZY! CONTEST!

**LHJ: **well, after having a long time off (and a long time it was), I couldn't think of a final chapter cause, well, I'm not in a creative state any more. (**turns on sweepstakes-like music**) NOW YOU (YES YOU) MAY GET THE CHANCE OF WRITING THE LAST CHAPTER!!!! I'll give credits to the special person who wins. The one random person will get to write the last chapter (heh laziness). (I'll explain how I plan to do this to the winner). Now here's how to enter.

To enter: PM me and explain why you want to write it (make it short since I might not pay attention too long). I'll just randomly select a person (or will I?) and the lucky writer gets to write the last chapter. If you have no idea whats going on or just don't remember, RE-READ IT!

NO PURCHASE NECESSARY. BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH MONKEY BLAH BLAH RAMEN NOODLES BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH DRAGONFORCE BLAH CHICKEN VLAH BLAH NLAH DLAH MY CHEMICAL ROMANCE LAH LAH LAH LAH BLAH HA OMG LOLOLOLZ!!!111ONEONEONE THE BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH. Contest Ends whenever I feel like it or When I remember after a period of time.

PRIZE: person's written work gets to be posted with a lot of credit, praise, and something else I might let them do. The winner also gets a virtual cookie. :D

**Naruto: **I wanna enter!!!!

**LHJ:** too bad. Shut up and sit in the corner.

**Naruto: **AHHH NOT THE BELT!! (flees)

NOW ENTER AND ENTERTAIN ME!!!!!!! Er, write for me?


End file.
